This morning, I’m sharing the writings of Rebecca Cooper, Author with my own thoughts mingled in..
Things My Thirties Have Taught Me
☕ Can I call this ‘things Covid taught me?

1. Not all friendships are meant to last. People that you would’ve called ride or dies, people that you would’ve called in the dead of night in the middle of a storm – those people might just slip from your side (quietly or in flames that you’ll try to put out for years). I suppose it’s a side effect of growing up and realizing who you really are. When you think of them – because you will – send them light and love and carry on. Carry on, sister.
   ☕ Just before I got hit with the Covid dragon, I had bought a gift for a friend that I expected to see that week…10 months later, it’s still in my car and I haven’t seen her but I think of her often.
   One month before Covid hit me, I made a business decision and lost several clients that didn’t realize the reasons I had were essential to the peace and safety of my own body and soul.
   Right before I got hit with Covid, a friend offered to come by to vaccinate my entire team…I refused and that was the last conversation we really had. I believe the vaccination can change a person in many ways, but I didn’t expect this.

But I’ve also learned who I am and what I believe and I’ve been surprised by the people that have reached out even during the hardest days. ☕

2. Sometimes it really is your fault. Sometimes you have to apologize with a clear, strong voice. Sometimes you have to own up to your part. You might not even know how it even happened (or what). I’ve learned that apologies build bridges that fake smiles and make believe never will. ☕❤️I learned during the hardest days that I had made some serious mistakes, in using my time to build my business instead of building relationships and I’m trying to mend that.. I’ve apologized…I know it was my fault and my choices and I’ve got to make that right.
3. Tacos are acceptable meals for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. So is cereal. 🤗☕ I haven’t had cereal in probably two years but I used to love shredded wheat with bananas and sugar….. Maybe I’ll buy a box again .. For old times sake.
   Tacos, though, are always my favorites… Preferably without melted cheese! 😋
   Preferably served with a slice of lime, outside on a picnic table!
4. You’ll have to walk away sometimes. You’re going to have to feel that courage unfolding in your tummy, and you’re going to have to lace up your sneakers, and you’re going to have to walk away. Walk away from tables that don’t understand you, friendships that don’t serve you, and from love that doesn’t sustain you.
   ☕💙
   Damn straight…. Even though I’m walking like a drunken wench… and it’s hard to be graceful about it… I’ve learned not to let it get to me when I see pictures that show that once again I wasn’t invited to the table…I just decided to gather my own tribe and issue invitations, instead of wondering why I wasn’t asked there..I realized I didn’t really even WANT to be there.
5. Spring always comes. The bad always gets better.
   ☕💙 Damn straight… And every storm runs out of rain!
6. If you don’t understand something, figure it out. You are smart and capable and strong and discerning. Research and ask questions and don’t be afraid to look dumb. Because –
   ☕❤️💪 This-so much ….I have asked a million questions.. and found answers in nutrition, in training, in being outside and in scriptures and in the Spirit.
7. For every one person that agrees with you, there are twenty that don’t. You will never convince them. Your job is to stand in the truth that you believe is holy and justified. Your job is to stand there as a beacon for the people that can’t. Stand on your damn hill and shine, shine, shine.
   ☕❤️🤗
   Damn straight AGAIN… So many, many people have disagreed with my choices and I’m okay with that now … It hurt like hell for a long time, but I know my body better than anyone else does..I know what I can’t handle and if that makes me selfish, so be it.
8. Honesty above everything else. Honesty with yourself and your mom and dad and your kids and your spouse and your friends. Honesty. Even if it hurts and even if it comes out in a whisper. Speak the truth. Even if you have to run from your own self in the dead of night. Speak the truth. Even if it turns you into an arsonist. Speak the truth. Even if, even if, even if. Live in honesty. .
   ☕🤗❤️ Even if my voice shakes and even if I cry -one of the things I used to wrestle with myself is how emotional I am. .I can’t keep a poker face.. Tears come to my eyes easily. I remember choking back words when someone I loved was about to have surgery and the look of anger and aggravation in the eyes of others and I let that bother me until I realized it was the essence of who I am-i love deeply and I’m not afraid to show it.
9. License your car on time, don’t over pluck your eyebrows, and use a good leave-in conditioner. Wear the swimsuit, stop wearing the crappy shoes, read good books, and pray unendingly. Get your feet and hands dirty, plant flowers, and plan parties for no other reason than to laugh with your favorite people. Sit by fires, laugh loudly, and dance to good live music in the dead of summer when there’s not even one ounce of a breeze. Always cheer for the underdog and turn your music up too loud and eat good food. Help your neighbors and listen more than you speak and my god – remember this: 🍷
   ☕❤️I got up and danced… Not as gracefully as before.. But never more gratefully…and with tears in my eyes…. Wearing a mini dress even though my legs weren’t perfectly strong… But because I wanted to and I felt like it.
   I’ve also worn shorts-even though my legs aren’t what I wish they were but because I appreciate them so much more now…I appreciate my body more than ever. 💪

You were born to set the world on fire. Don’t ever stop chasing down your secret, sacred dreams.

10. It’s going to be hard. There will be long nights and long days and sometimes, you’ll even be counting the seconds that tick by. You’ll make it through, though. You’ll always make it throug☕💙 Damn straight. Warrior mode!

I promise.
❤️I promise, too… Watch me … Just watch me.

xoxo, B.

❤️ Love ,
Jeanna’ Mead

Once again, another writers words are shared here because I seem to be reminded. .. over and over of Mema and her way of saying, “feel with both hands. ‘

Shared from Sacred Dreams 💛

“Grandma, how do you cope with pain?”

“With your hands, honey. If you do it with your mind instead of relieving the pain, it toughens even harder.”

“With your hands grandma?”

“Yes, our hands are the antennae of our soul. If you move them; knitting, cooking, painting, playing or sinking them into the ground, you send care signs to the deepest part of you and your soul lights up because you’re paying attention to it. Then signs of pain will no longer be necessary.”

“Hands are really that important?”

“Yes my daughter. Think of babies: they start to know the world through the touch of their hands. If you look at the hands of old people, they tell you more about their life then any body part. Everything that is done by hand is said to be done with the heart. Because it’s really like this: hands and heart are connected. Masseurs know well: when they touch someone with their hands, they create a deep connection. It is precisely from this connection that healing comes. Think of lovers: when they touch their hands, they make love in a more sublime way.”

“My hands grandma…. how long I haven’t used them like this!”

“Move them, my love. Begin to create with them and everything within you will begin to move. The pain will not pass away. And instead what you do with them will become the most beautiful masterpiece and it won’t hurt anymore. Because you have been able to transform its essence.”

~Elena Bernabe
Shared and translated by Takiruna

Oh Lord have mercy, this popped up as I was drinking my coffee and the tears started rolling.
Oh, how I miss Momma and Mema.. how I miss the cold cokes and sitting in the driveway shooting the bull, how I miss the phone calls.. “I made a pot of stew and prune cake… Bring those babies over here!”
I miss getting to her house to find that they had gone shopping and saw something “that just had your name all over it”.. and I miss those hugs that made everything all better.

It is almost Mother’s day, which is the day I was born on.. and how I miss hearing my momma tell me-again and again- “I don’t need no present… You are my Mother’s day gift every day”
Mema told me that I better not go ” bawling and squalling and carrying on” after she went to glory because she said that I had been so good to her and didn’t have no reason to.
Maybe that’s the truth…. I loved her so much that one day when she was pulling out in the car , she grabbed my hand and said,” Jeanna, you love me too much … They might have to bury you with me when the time comes… You better remember those kids gonna need you to love on them enough for both of us! “
She was right…. I did love her too much.. and that’s one of the best things ever!

I wish I could call them up… I wish I could bring over my bundles and my girls and watch them love on them all.
Instead.. I’m gonna try my best to be like my momma and Mema’… I’m gonna love too much, I’m gonna ” feel with both hands’ and I’m gonna spoil my babies rotten and make as many memories as I can so that when the Good Lord calls me to dance in glory, all of them will miss me like crazy and have stories to pass on to their own grandchildren… “Jamma was crazy… She would make us all sing ” TallyDah”and shake our booties and she would buy gifts for no reason and dip cookies in coffee… and she was always the first person to get up and dance and would squeeze you half to death.
Call your momma. If you still can …

Make Courageous Commitments
When making commitments, we need to be mindful of where they fit into our overall goals, objectives, and schedules. And we must consider how they fit into God’s overall plan and purpose for our lives.
Once we’ve prayerfully considered these factors and are confident in our chosen direction, we must then avoid procrastination and take action. All the while, we should be diligent to analyze and prioritize our commitments on a regular basis, avoiding anxiety, and maintaining balance in our everyday lives and schedules.

Courageously analyze and prioritize your commitments by asking yourself the following questions:

1. What commitments have I made?
2. What commitments do I need to make?
3. Are there any commitments I need to eliminate?
4. How dedicated am I to my commitments?
   Prayerfully analyzing your commitments can mean the difference between success and defeat, peace of mind, and exhaustion.
   Interpret: God will give us everything we need to make courageous, God-honoring commitments. He promises to be with us along the way and will bless us in response to our dedication.
   Apply: Analyze and prioritize your commitments today. Make the ones God is encouraging you to make, eliminate the ones he’s encouraging you to eliminate, put aside procrastination, and take action.
   Pray: Father, give me wisdom and discernment regarding my commitments. Help me discern areas of my life where I am overcommitted or under committed. Grant me the ability to eliminate commitments that are not within your will and establish commitments that honor you.

☕☕ This is meant for me
As I looked into tweaking my schedule to make more time for taking care of my body-a commitment that I know I must make in order to get my strength and balance back… I realize that all those other things were falling into place for this to happen without me feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

Finding balance in my life has been one of the lessons from Covid… and that is being strong and able to enjoy my bundles and my girls.. to be able to make memories and enjoy time with them.
Training my body means saying “no* to wasting time and saying ” yes” to making time.
It means that I let go of what isn’t providing results and find what I need.
It means giving up temporary things for long term gains ..

That isn’t always easy but I know it’s what God is leading me to do…

Guarding my heart.. guarding my family.. guarding my time.. guarding my body.

That means opening my heart to love more-not less, it means making more time for my family, more time for my body
.
I want to be able to dance with Greg Mead again, and bend down to dig in the dirt with my girls and lift up Ruthie Jane without being afraid I’ll fall over.. I want to walk outside and play with the bundles without a struggle.
I want to walk and find treasures at flea markets and move furniture without grasping the walls
I want to say “yes” to having coffee and going to get margaritas and tacos without being afraid I’ll be mistaken for drunk before I’ve tasted my tequila!

I am choosing to listen to what has been placed on my heart…
God will provide the details.

The Underdog
L u k e 1 8 : 2 7

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

E p h e s i a n s 3

So, if He can do all these things and more, surely He can help you do more than you could have ever dreamed or thought you could do. If the odds are against you, take hope. God is in the business of using underdogs. And God wants to use an underdog just like you.

C H E W O N T H I S

What’s holding you back from being who God wants you to be? Is it your past? Your fears? What mindset or habit do you need to get rid of to begin to be used by God in ways you never thought possible?

P R A Y E R

Jesus, I thank you for empowering me to do the impossible. I trust that you want to use me and I’m giving you permission. Take what little I have and use it to out-perform what anyone thought was possible. I give you the glory and honor.

☕💙 Damn straight

Here I am, curled in the covers, reading and writing and sipping my coffee and realizing that’s habit that’s holding me back… I’m going to stop lingering over my second cup of coffee and reading and getting up for a longer workout in the mornings and for getting this body to do far more than anyone else expects

I’ve watched the videos that Daymond Patterson has taken of me and cried every time… But that’s also motived me even more

I’m making choices to place my body and my health at the top of the totem pole so that I can be the woman, the wife, the mom, and the Jamma that I was created to be.

I have a great team on my side that believes in me and pushes me… Just like God intends.

‘Plans for a future and a hope! “

This is what I’ve held on to during this journey
As I’ve struggled physically, I’ve found my faith becoming stronger and my gratitude endless.

I’ve reached some real turning points this past few days.
Sunday was the first time since July that I drove to TjMaxx and went inside all by myself and shopped, then I went to Fresh- and walked all over the store trying to find what I needed.
Monday I had training with Phu Lam and then had my kinesiology session with Daymond Patterson of The Raw Power Team then I had a Simple Man session on a client at Rockwall Body and Soul Massage and then my sons came and helped me get the room ready for Rebecca Joann Brumfield to work for 2 weeks!
I came home after the hail and rain storm, exhausted and happy!

Yesterday I ran back into the store to get glasses and then did sessions, and finally stopped by to see my daughter, Kateley Lyons and love on my bundles for a minute.
Then on the spur of the moment, I asked Riven if she would come with me , and she said, “yes!”
She grabbed a bag, kissed her family and got in my car.
We went to Aldi to pick up my grocery order and then headed home.. at the red light, I turned to her and said, “I haven’t driven with you in so long”
“Not since I was 7!” she replied.
Then she said, “sometimes your driving scares me…. But then it always has even before you got sick!”

Truth spoken… So I had to share stories of how my Mema would drive crazy, racing the teenage boys at the lights, taking the corners so fast that we would slide across the seats, singing all the while….I ain’t got nothing on that woman when it comes to scary driving… But I got this .. I have a future and a hope .. every day I’m getting stronger and that’s my intention so that I can dance with Greg again, pick up my bundles and girls and take them treasure hunting at places, have cookouts and go wherever I want without falling, and to live my life, mindful of my blessings and in awe of every step I take.
It’s been a journey. . everything that has happened has taught me so much and I’m working out even harder with clear goals and expectations – to become the woman I was created to be!
God has a plan and a purpose!

This is something else that I didn’t write but that hit my soul in such a way that I feel compelled to share here

It’s ironic because yesterday. I was watching a children’s movie and the Abuleta said to her granddaughter, “You can’t rush the future.”

So simple but so true

Just like Elle Browning words here,. There’s some simple wisdom that we can take to heart

When we grief deeply it means we loved deeply… and we must keep on loving… Even if, especially if we are fully aware that we will grief again.

“The future doesn’t have to be the same as the past’

Indeed, it doesn’t…

I don’t grief those that have gone to dance in glory because I know they left in love and were welcomed into love. I grief instead for love that’s withheld and changed by choices,.. it is what it is and I’m letting it go… And the future will not look like the past

This is a photo of me and my late brother, Brendan. It was taken by a good friend of mine, Irvin Kelly several years ago during one of our “just for fun” photo shoots in the basement of my old apartment. We used to love using Photoshop to “play with light.”

Why am I posting this today?

For a few reasons. One- even though Brendan died three years ago, I still grieve him deeply. I know that so many of you are also grieving different losses of your own, and I want to acknowledge that here.

In a FB Live this week I talked about how Covid has impacted many of us both personally and professionally, and that is a grief, too.

One concept that gives me comfort- our grief is connected to our capacity to love. We can only grieve the loss of something or someone that we have deeply loved.

And so ironically the antidote to grief and loss is not to cut off life, and to stop loving.

It’s actually to love more.

To surrender to the unknown.

To risk the exposure to even more future griefs because we allow ourselves to love so deeply and completely.

This is brave. It’s saying yes to more of life, which is a courageous act.

So this idea gives me comfort. Remembering that new things can be born. New experiences can be created. And the future doesn’t need to look exactly like the past.

Are you grieving a loss? What gives you comfort?