Naked Body and Soul

There’s a letter that Charlie Chapin wrote to his daughter and in it, he wrote some words that have been reprinted over and over,framed and hung, given out to lovers which is what he intended the words for.

I was looking at some old photographs of long time friends yesterday and I smiled at the memories but I also honored my instincts and knew full well that I would never be naked with any of them again.

We were not ever lovers but I had laid naked for each one of them more than once.

I will not do it again.

When we take our clothes off and lay naked between sheets to receive body work and massage therapy,we are vulnerable and it is as act of trust, of courage,of surrender to give someone the chance,the opportunity,the ability to see and touch our body so that we can receive what we need and want.

However it isn’t only the body that is naked, it is also the soul. In fact, it is even more so.

“Your naked body should only belong to those that fall in love with your naked soul.”

Belong. Fall in love.

I’ll like to reword this just a bit.

Instead of belong and fall in love, I’m going to use these words-

“Your naked body should only be touched by those that love your naked soul.”

Love is multifaceted. It is compassionate and passionate. It is understanding and attentive. It is aware and present. It sees and hears, it feels and it senses. It gives and it receives.

Love knows. Love shows. Love does. Love also doesn’t do some things.

I am hearing impaired Clinically I’m considered to have “moderate severe hearing loss” and “cookie bite syndrome” which means I hear high and low pitches but miss normal speaking tones. I can hear music but I don’t understand lyrics, I hear the phone ring but can’t make sense of what is being said, I hear the birds singing but can’t tell how close or far they are.

It’s just the way it is.

It’s part of my body and my soul.

It’s who I am.

Many people don’t understand my deafness,or how much I do or don’t hear and that is just the way it is .

But I expect more when it’s someone I know, someone I consider a friend and colleague.

I’ve been disappointed. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been bought to tears and to rage.

I won’t go there again.

I will never get naked again for anyone that doesn’t touch my body and my soul with love.

I have the final word on who can see and touch my body and reach my soul. I have learned the hard way that only a very few honor both and so only a very few will be trusted with both.

I received massages from each of these women and found out more about them during the massages.

I was hurt. I was disappointed. I was angry.

I bit my tongue and I vowed to never lay down for any of them again.

They are good women. They are knowledgeable therapists.

But they do not touch with love for both the body and soul.

They assumed. They took advantage.

They blew it big time.

During a massage, when I was face down, in a vulnerable position, the woman that was massaging me, opened the door to let someone else in the room. I felt the energy of another person then I heard them talking. I couldn’t understand the words but I heard the voices. The therapist kneaded my muscles but was obviously interacting with someone else. Minutes later, the door opened and the other person left and she continued working on me as if nothing had happened.

I laid there, as still as I could,choking back the tears,feeling violated by both of them.

When it was over, I put my clothes back on and promised myself to never take them off for either of them again.

Years later, I was injured in a fall and I scheduled a session with another therapist.

I went in with my knee swollen, bruises up and down my leg and back and desperately needing relief.

I took my clothes off and laid naked between the sheets.

Warm,capable hands began to work on me and I breathed a sigh of relief and gratitude.

Too soon,though.

Minutes into the session, I noticed I was only feeling one hand on my body.

But then both hands were back on me,moving skillfully over my body again.

Another sigh of relief.

Too soon,again.

I heard my therapists voice and then another voice-a man’s deep laugh.

During the moments when I was only feeling one hand,she had set up her phone on speaker mode and while she was massaging me, she carried on a long conversation with her boyfriend.

After all, I was deaf,right? I couldn’t have known,right?

I laid there, naked and in pain. My sigh of relief turned into a sigh of frustration and anger.

She finished the session and took her phone.

I put my clothes back on and I promised myself to never take them off for her again.

She did not touch my body or my soul with love. She did not deserve my trust ever again.

I learned. I accept. In move on.

There’s the other aspect of the body and soul connection.

I had been training hard and my legs had taken a beating so I scheduled a session with another therapist.

I took my clothes off and laid naked between the sheets. She worked thoroughly on my hamstrings and quads, stretching my legs and hips until I was clenching the table and biting my lips in pain. Not once did she notice my body language, or let up on the pressure. I felt it was torture instead of therapy. She didn’t stroke my back, touch my arms, release my grasped fists…she focused only on the original problem I had came in with and ignored everything my body and soul was telling her.

I was disappointed. I was hurt. I walked out, got in my car and cried my heart out.

“Your naked body should only belong to those that fall in love with your naked soul.”

Chapin’s words. Such profound truth.

Fall in love.

Over and over,I’ve had clients tell me that when they receive body work from me,they feel like I’m making love to them in the way that isn’t sexual or sensual,but is compassionate and honorable and I realize it’s the truth.

I touch with love,with intention,with purpose,with awareness,with understanding and knowledge.

I touch the naked body and honor the naked soul.

Just like I want to be touched.

Just like I wasn’t.

I will never get naked again for anyone that doesn’t see my soul.

I will never touch a naked body without reaching the naked soul.

I will only receive bodywork from those that love the soul as much as the body.

It’s my choice.

It is who I am.

It’s the way it is.

It’s that simple.

It’s my final word.

It is love.

Jeanna’ Mead

10 15 a.m. 4-24-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

Beethoven

I so understand how

Beethoven felt

When others acclaimed

Of the shepherd singing

In a field

While he heard nothing

Not a sound

But looked to see

If he could catch a glimpse

That would make it seem real

I can so relate

To Beethoven

His desire to have

Mutual exchange of thought

A gathering in which

He was really a part

Instead of on the outside

Looking in

Present in the body

Taking up space

Absent in the spirit

Trying so hard to pretend

To understand

who was speaking when about what

Just like Beethoven

I walk away

Isolate myself

Amongst the trees

Dance to the symphony

That I alone can hear

Feel the vibrations from my soul

Making it my own

I know how it is

To wonder what I’ve missed

To put together

Bits and pieces

In hopes to understand

Creating an imaginary story line

To fill in all the gaps

Just like I’m sure

Beethoven did

I wonder what he would think

Of all the things I have now

Unlike Beethoven

I can read the lyrics of the songs that others sing

The words that people speak

Technology has created

Such marvelous things

But none compares

Or will be remembered as well

As Symphony Number 9

Beethoven’s masterpiece

That he never heard

But surely felt

❤👣Jeanna’ Mead

8 10 a.m 4-17-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

For Rob..for sending me the letter Beethoven wrote. Thank you for including me and for singing so that I may feel and know. I am grateful to know you at this point of our journey.

Giving Eleven Minutes

Early morning

wrapped in blankets underlining words.in Eleven Minutes

Finding truth and courage for my soul

strength for my body

wisdom and faith for

my passion and future.

It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful life is

and something I just read struck a chord.
“give a gift”-that doesn’t mean, necessarily, going to buy something and wrapping it….(although those are nice too)…what it means is giving a gift from your heart, perhaps something that was yours, or that reminds you of that person or something special….give something tangible-a book,a card, a pen, a keepsake that says “this is for you”.
You’ll be surprised at what a gift can mean….and what the right words can mean too.
Give. Receive.

Limbo

She stood
On that ragged edge
Over the rushing waters
Of the river Limbo

Should she go
Should she stay

Should she dance
Should she wait

Should she hold on
Should she let go

Was she enough or not

She knew good and well
She only got to live once

That was what pushed her
Right over the edge

Leaping over
River Limbo

Taking every chance
Dancing every dance
Sipping each drink
Kissing each face

Writing her heart out
Speaking her truth

She had to live
So that at the end of her life

She would have no regrets
Left on that ragged edge
Of the River Limbo

👣❤Jeanna’ Mead
5 33 a.m 4-10-19
Www.jeannasoul.com

Dancing Without Fear

It’s not fear

That held her captive

That filled her dance card

It was expectations

Of other people

She didn’t want

Her heart to stop beating

And find out

That she had not

Lived and loved

Hard enough

Fearlessly

Passionately

She wanted to be

Remembered

Long after her heart

Had stopped beating

As a woman

Who did things

Even when she was afraid

Even when the odds

Were stacked high against her

Even when it would have been easier

To just stay the course

She couldn’t live with herself

Unless she took the risk

And became more

Than anyone else had ever expected her to be

Fear, she decided,

Was a cotton picking liar

A stealer of dreams

Good-for-nothing thief

That she refused to dance with

She put fear in it’s place

Right behind regrets

And disappointments

Made it perfectly clear

That it had absolutely no place

In her life anymore

She had replaced it

With other dance partners

Courage, Strength, Passion and Peace

Which took her spiraling

Spinning around

With exhilaration

Close to the edge

Where she could catch the eye

Of Fear,Regret,and Disappointment

And wink as if to say

“Watch me…just watch me..I’m dancing my heart out and I’m not with you”

👣❤Jeanna’ Mead

7 37 a.m 4-7-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

Fingerprints

“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ’em all over everything you do…” – Elvis Presley

She didn’t quite trust

Her own fingerprints

She wouldn’t use them

To keep her secrets locked in

For fear they would lock her out instead

She felt like her fingerprints had changed

With pressure and time

As she touched other people

Over and over

Over and over,again

Rubbing in love

Rubbing out pain

Leaving parts of her skin

Bits of her soul

In each stroke

No wonder she didn’t quite trust

Her own fingerprints

It seemed like she had

Too much of others carved into her skin

Just like the way she became

Just a little,tiny bit different

With every one she knew

Just enough to make a difference

She became who and what

Was needed at any given moment

Giving parts of her heart

Holding back parts of her body

She felt as if she was covered with the fingerprints of others

Just as surely as she had left her own

Invisible on the skin

Penetrated deep within

Down into the bones

Stained on the soul

Fingerprints

That couldn’t quite be trusted

To hold up in a court of law

But they could be trusted to hold on

To the secrets she kept

intertwined

Overlapped

Buried deep

Burned into

Her very own fingerprints

That she didn’t trust

To look the same

Over and over

Over and over,again

👣❤Jeanna’ Mead

6 46 a.m 4-7-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

My cell phone and my bank account offer the option of a fingerprint identification. I tried using it..only to get myself locked out.

I placed my finger precisely as instructed,over and over again, and it would not accept my fingerprint the second time around.

Maybe all the years of rubbing others,of burning my fingers on hot stones, cast iron pans, boiling water and this,that and another has changed my fingerprints.

I know that I have changed….I have taken all my experiences and those of the people I’ve touched and it has made me a different woman..I’m passionate..compassionate, forgiving and fiercely protective because I’ve been broken, buried,burned and blossomed into who I ask now and I wouldn’t change any of it..just like my fingerprints…these life experiences have made me who and what I was meant to be.

Dreams Come True

DREAMS COMING TRUE

Everyone’s got a dream inside of them that they want to live out. Though the main excuse for massage is musculo-skeletal pain, often it is the pain of dreams unlived.

It is not our job to identify people’s dreams, interpret them, or to make them come true. But every tension you relieve from the body, frees people up to use their energy for higher purposes. And, who knows, with this systematic and caring relief of old and new tensions, what dreams may come true?

Believe in yourself and in your clients’ right to dream and in our ability to realize our dreams.

– David Lauterstein

Deep Massage Society

Touch me and feel me

Make my dreams come true

Hold my body in such a way

That my heart can feel brave

Trace my face, my eyes,my lips

With your fingertips

Know every curve and every scar

Memorize each part

So you will recognize me

Even in the dark

Place your hands into my hair

Cup my head and take me where

My dreams can come true.

❤👣Jeanna’ Mead

6 04 a.m 4-7-19

Www.jeannasoul.com