Curve Ball



Open letter to men,

I want you to know that I see the ways in which we (women) have contributed to the wounding of the masculine psyche.

We don’t often recognize that while we talk about how men have hurt women in this culture, women are also hurting men.

With our words, our actions, and our unreasonable exceptions of you.

I want you to know that being vulnerable is masculine.

That to give me the gift of seeing you in your vulnerability is a blessing, not something to curse.

I want you to know that I will never tell you to “man-up” again. It must hurt to hear that when you are stumbling, you are no longer perceived as a man.

You may even be confused as to what’s expected of you now that so much has changed.

Dear men, we still want you. We still need you.

I want you to know that your energy, your presence, your commitment and your devotion show me that I am safe, protected and cared for.

I want you to know that I can hold space for you too, just like you do for me.

I can witness your emotions, sit with your tears, or be with you when you’re confused.

You are human, it’s ok if you stumble.

I will not leave you if you cry.

I want you to know that you’re not expected to perform or be ready to at all times.

Most of all, making love is about presence, it’s about passion, it’s about true connection.

Make eye contact with me when our bodies connect, show me you’re with me, give me your energy, and you will feel our passion rise to create true love.

When things go sideways let’s laugh together. Intimacy is more than just sex, it’s about kisses, snuggles, eye-gazing, and conversation. It’s many forms of expression.

I want you to know, that you are most attractive when you are fully expressed. I want to see you dance, to laugh, to play, to hug and give/receive love.

Dear men, you are safe to be yourself.

As a woman, I promise to do my best to contribute to the rising and healing of the masculine, alongside the feminine.

This is not a one sided journey. We need women to rise, and we need men. We need you too, so please show up with us.

I want you to know that I see you.

You are valuable beyond measure and the gifts you provide are different and unique to what a woman provides, and this is why communities are made up of all genders, not just men or just women.

We are meant to work together, to support one another, to cherish each others differences, not demonize them because we have false expectations that aren’t being met.

I want you to know that I will do my healing work and support women in theirs so that projections of the mother or father are not placed upon you in relationship. And I invite you to do the same.

You are not responsible for my happiness. It is not your job to “fix me”.

You have the opportunity to lead as a conscious man in this world. To demonstrate what it’s like to live with an open heart, as a humble leader with a mission.

And I believe in you.

~ Rising Woman ~

Sometimes I must share what I’ve read and how it touches my soul.

This does.

A few days ago, another woman made a post about how when a man leaves his cell phone on silent, and turned face down, and has to unlock it when he picks it up, it means he’s messing around. She didn’t know the man but had been observing him at a coffee shop. She was quick to jump all over his case by the way he had his cell phone.

I couldn’t just let it go.

“Maybe he’s deaf, maybe he’s a massage therapist, maybe he’s a First Responder and knows what happens when a phone lands in the wrong hands.

She got her panties twisted… “That’s the way most men are.”


I love men.

My best friends are men.

I’m married to a man.

I have three grown ass sons that are good men.

I know they are not perfect but neither am I or any other women out there.

When I need a real friend, it’s my guys that come.. when I’m working late, it’s my guy friends that check on me, when I’m at the gym, it’s the guys that stop by and talk to me.

Most of my clients are guys.

I realized the reason why.

I make them comfortable. They can be vulnerable and strong. They can be silent or talk to me. They can fall asleep and know they are safe.

I hold space and I hold hands. I hold secrets and I hold their regrets. I hold on when they are falling apart and I hold back the demons when they feeling attacked and alone.

I’m a man lover. I will not let men be trashed or painted with broad brushes.

I will take them as they are and make them into what they want to be.

I’m gonna stand by my man…. Every single one of them.

And that’s all I got to say about that.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

6 22 a.m. 12.18.19


Mister Santa

Mister Santa

What do you know

What do you think

What goes on

Behind the scenes

Closed doors

Inside the hearts?

Who’s naughty and who’s nice?

Mister Santa

Do you check the list

Mark it twice?

Give gold stars

For extra effort?

Do you read between the lines

Or do you read minds?

Oh, Mister Santa

Is it true

That we only get

What we expect?

If I make a list

Will it be read?

Could I count on you, Mr Santa

Do you think I’ve been good?

I certainly try

Try again and again

I do my best

But then…

Oh, Mr Santa

Sometimes I slip

I sneak in

Chocolate kisses

When I shouldn’t

Skip a workout

That I should have done

I tell little white lies

Sweet talk a bit too much

I got caught flirting

Didn’t mean a thing

I had too much whiskey

And not enough to eat

I fell asleep

When I should have been listening

I forgot to meet a deadline

Got distracted by a story I was writing

Oh, goodness gracious, Santa

But I sure do I try

I give a little bit too much

Go a little crazy

From time to time

But, then again

I gotta live this

One wild and precious life

So, Mister Santa

Cut me some slack

Give a gal a break

I’m doing pretty good

Most always

And this is what I’ll like

If you’ll just pretty please

Have a little mercy on me

Dang gum dog did it again and again

Got into my lingerie

So I need more lace underthings

My cowboy boots are getting worn thin

God knows a gal can never have too many pairs

A red lipstick and a good pen

A steady clientele

Boxes of sheets in bright colors and every pattern

Salsa dance lessons

A flight across the sky

Turquoise stones

And hands to hold

Words on wood

And times with friends

Bottomless mimosas

Blueberry pancakes

After a night of dancing

Mr Santa, oh, what can I say

Let me explain

Most of what I want

Can’t be wrapped

Or placed underneath the tree

I’ll love to have some company

A walk on the wild side

To ride a horse on the beach

Grab a kayak and go for the day

Camp out under the stars

Cuddle up to stay warm

I’ll like to walk across the stage

Speak my mind about so many things

Get a few things lifted

Gray taken away

Maybe personal training is what I need

Oh, Mr Santa

What can I say?

I’m not no angel but, then again,

You could say the same

Most of the time

We are both

Trying our very best

Making a list

Checking it twice

We don’t pout

We don’t shout

We keep things light

And we jingle as we step

Once in a blue moon

Just once in a while

We might slip

But that’s alright

Because most of the time

Nine times out of ten

We do the best we can

Don’t you agree,Mr Santa, with me?

Jeanna’ Mead


7 53 a.m



Here’s the truth

I want more

And there is only one way to get it

By doing more

More sets

More reps

More miles

More time

I want more

More adventures

More experiences

More beauty

More depth

The only way to get more

Is to work more

So that I can

Which means

I must plan more

Write it down

Just like my friend said

Turn my list of dreams

Into a list marked


👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

634 a.m. 12.11.19


Surrender Box

Surrender Box


A surrender box is a tool to help us to let go of our burdens so the universe can take care of them for us.

There are times when our minds become too full. Our to-do lists, worries, plans, and dreams may be so crowded together in our heads that we don’t have room to think.

We may believe that we are somehow taking care of our desires and concerns by keeping them at the forefront of our minds.

In maintaining our mental hold on every detail, however, we may actually delay the realization of our dreams and the resolution of our worries because we won’t let them go.

At times such as these, we may want to use a surrender box.

A surrender box allows us to let go of our worries and desires so the universe can take care of them for us.

We write down what we want or need to happen and then place the note into a box.

By writing and placing our thoughts in the box, we are taking action and letting the universe know we need help and are willing to surrender our feelings.

We give ourselves permission to not concern ourselves with that problem any longer and trust that the universe is taking care of it. You may even want to decorate your box and place it in a special place.

Your surrender box is a sacred container for your worries.

Not only do you free up space in your mind by letting go of our worries and desires and dropping them into your surrender box, but you are giving your burden over to a higher power. Once we drop our worries and desires into

the surrender box, we free our minds so we can be fully present in each moment.

Surrendering our worries and concerns and placing them in the hands of the universe doesn’t mean that we’ve given up or have been defeated.

Instead, we are releasing the realization of our desires and the resolution of our worries and no longer concerning ourselves with their outcomes.

It’s always fun to go back and pull the slips of paper out of the box once your requests have been granted.

And it’s amazing how quickly problems go away and dreams come true when we finally let go and allow a higher power to help us.

👣💙 These are not my words but I wanted to n place it here because it is such a beautiful gesture, such an act of trust

“I surrender all

All to Thee

My precious Saviour

I surrender all”

I can hear my Mema singing those lyrics, the Baptist hymnal in her hands as she tried to teach me to carry the tune along with her.

“I surrender all”

There’s something else when I give bodywork, I am so thankful for the ones that do surrender all, giving me their body and their soul, letting me work and trusting the process.

These are the ones that receive so much more because they are open n to the gift of healing touch.

I am learning to surrender my own body and soul, too, to receive as well as give.

Surrender isn’t waving a white flag, it’s opening up your heart and seeing what can happen if only you surrender your limitations.

I never learned to carry a tune by myself but when I surrender to another voice leading me, I can become part of the song.

I surrender all

👣💙 Jeanna’ Mead

615 a.m. 12.10.19


Time To Quit

“You need to quit writing lists and poems about what you are going to do and start writing about things you’ve done.”-Kettle 11.30.19

It takes a real friend

That’s been around

Long enough to know

All the stories of your soul

It takes a long time

To get underneath the skin

Pull back the mask

And find out who you are within

It takes a special bond

It speak the truth

To raise the bar

Tell it like is

And I swear that I’m so glad

I’ve got that kind of friend

“This past week, I’ve had lots of time to think. Several things keep coming up … the simple realization of what stirs my soul, what I need and want in my life.
Sometimes I’m just not sure where to begin but I know I want to take the next steps.
I want to learn more-about different massage techniques, about different dance styles, about nutrition and wellness, about writing and understanding.
I want to surround myself with positive people, with great music, with interesting books, with creativity and wonderful food and drinks.
I want to discuss literature, philosophy, energy, beauty, and the fine art of living well and loving much.
I want to work with my hands and feet and my soul..using therapeutic massage to touch as many as possible…..I want my studio to be a sanctuary,a safe place to recharge, release, relax, and be still.
I want to take trips and discover things outside my comfort zone.
I want to give my children roots and wings,encouragement and security….and spoil my granddaughter rotten!
I want to open my home, my heart and my arms to possibilities.
I want to train so hard that I never again say “no” when I really want to say “YES!” I want to be ready for adventure, for a dance, for an escape, for a lesson, for a simple trip, for the beach, for anything and everything that strikes my fancy.

I want to live up to this word !” Pot-11-30-2013

Six years ago, I had written the above statement in my journal.

I haven’t done right by my soul or my body.. and this list has been neglected in ways I hate to admit to myself.

I haven’t opened my home up at all…. The last few years have been a struggle that I have wrestled with… Keeping my home, keeping my peace, keeping my marriage and my family intact has taken much more time that I thought.

It’s been a roller coaster and I haven’t had any of the gatherings or parties that I’ve wanted to.

But I have learned new modalities and I have created a sacred space for bodywork… One so beautiful and peaceful that I often stay there overnight myself.

Clients have became friends and my soul dances within my body when I’m there.

I haven’t traveled…and that really bothers me.

Other than driving into Oklahoma to the horse ranch, and to Austin for classes, I haven’t gone anywhere.

That’s a crying shame.

It’s inexcusable.

I have started and stopped so many workout programs… Putting off my own body to care for others, and in doing so, I’ve became less of myself.

I’m not as strong as I was.

I’m not as confident that I can do things I love.

I hesitate before I leap.

I second guess before I strap on my heels or take off my knee wrap.

I look in the mirror and wonder what happened.

I KNOW what happened.

I let it happen.

I wrote poems and lists of what I wanted instead of actually doing it.

Damn fool I am.

My friend reminded me. Straight shooter just like I am.

He’s going to hold me accountable. I know he will and he’ll be checking things off that list and reading poems about what I’ve done and where I’ve been and I’m going to do the same for him.

It’s time to quit writing and start living.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead



Red shoes and white wine

she’s content

On her bed

Wearing red shoes.

Drinking white wine

She’s satisfied

Right now anyway

For the moment

But she would to

Tickled pink

If by chance


She got the chance

To kick off

Those red shoes

Swallow that white wine

Real fast

And go out


Painting the town this. Drinking white wine

Taking shots of whiskey

And vodka

Living in the moment

Chaotic and chosen


Give A Damn

Thanksgiving… As you give thanks today, give a damn about what really matters and who really matters.
Give a damn about your health.. about your body, your spirit, your mind. . Give a damn about who is standing in your corner, lifting you up, dancing with you, giving you courage and strength when you need.
Give a damn to the ones that invite you, include you, excite you and inspire you.
Give a damn about how you feel and look and act.
Give a damn about the beauty, the goodness, the fragility of life.
Give a damn about who repeats for you, who waits for you and who pursues you .

Don’t give a damn about anything that doesn’t make your soul dance within your body.
Don’t give a damn about things you can’t control.
It’s Thanksgiving.. give a damn, a whole, whole lot of Damns about what you feel is worth giving a damn about.
#damnstraight #jeannasoul #myownwords #writingmyheartout


Bad Romance

Two weeks ago, I had a new client finally come in to see me.

We had interacted on social media for months and I knew he was following me on my posts on Facebook and Instagram.

This is how it is with First Responders and Veterans. They take their time, learning about who I am and what I do before they come into my place and receive bodywork.

It takes time. It takes trust. It doesn’t happen overnight. It can’t be rushed.

I know this and I just let it come when it does. I open the door to communicate and I let them gaze at the door as long as it takes before they walk across the threshold and into my space.

And I’m ready when they do.

Most of the time.

I’m not always prepared, though, for everything that happens.

You see, while I have the door open so I can gain their trust, something else happens.

I become known. I become seen. I become vulnerable. I get touched in all kinds of ways.

And sometimes it reminds me of who I was and who I need to be.

Days after his session, my client sends me this video with the comment,”The girl on the right reminds me of you.”

I clicked it.

I was transfixed.

It was like looking in the mirror, seeing myself again.


The girl I was. The woman I am.

Tears ran down my face.

I watched it again and again.

The hair.

The dress.

The color.


I got home and walked into my closet.

I have a dress almost exactly like that, still.

I turned on the music, really, really loud.

I begin to dance.


I caught my reflection in the mirror.

I was smiling.

The big, real, genuine Jack O’Lantern smile that Mema always said gave me away.

“Gave me away.”

That’s what it is… Some things just give you away, give away your passions, your pleasures, your so-called “buttons” that only people that take the time to watch and see, listen and learn, find out about you.

It’s a romance in many ways.

I know that it’s a give and take, to give fully, one must be willing to receive fully, too.

An open door goes both ways.. One can come in and one can go out.

One can see inside and one can be seen from outside.

I know my client doesn’t realize the gift he gave me when he sent the video.

It is a gift, though, in a very beautiful way.

He reminded me of what one of my heart desires is, of something I had pushed way back and let go of.

I needed this reminder so very much.

It made me stop and think and write down what I wanted and needed in my life.

To be known and loved.

To know and love.

To dance on the edge.

To dance again.

To open doors.

To come back.

To go forward.

Bad romances and all.

To be the woman in the dress, dancing my heart out.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

938 a.m. 11.26.19


Kisses And Other Things

Maybe it was meant to be

Taken differently

But when he kissed her

On the head

She knew what he meant

Maybe it should have come

As a surprise

When his lips meet hers

That night

But he laughed and said

“That’s what you get

From standing under the mistletoe”

She was from another country

Where kissing was common place

When she greeted her

It was full on the lips

And she stood there

Slightly off guard

For just a moment before

She realized what it was

All about

She’s been kissed

Ten thousand times

Kissed by strangers, friends and Lovers

She’s kissed the living and the dead

Little children and babies in bed

She kissed an old man

In a grocery aisle

A young guy in a darkened bar

She kissed away the pain

And her kisses bought heartache

She kissed with everything she had

And she kissed with just her lips

Her kisses tasted like cinnamon sugar



Sweet wine


Chocolate candy

Maple syrup and pancakes

She left lip prints

On napkins

And glasses

Hands, necks and cheeks

On the envelopes of letters

But most of them were rubbed in

Rubbed off

Leaving only the memory

Of where when they had been

Kissed and other things had happened

💙👣 Jeanna’ Mead

8 06 a.m. 11.23.19