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Presents

Sunday was Mother’s day. It was also my birthday.

When I was born on Mother’s day, my mom and my Mema declared that I was their “mother’s day present” and from that day forward, no other gift I could give them mattered as much because I made them who they wanted to be- a mom and a Mema.

I used to think it was silly the way they would write on my birthday cards, “to our Mother’s day present” and how they would tell everyone I was “extra special delivery” because I was born on such an important day.

I was spoiled rotten by both of them. I knew it and they knew it, too.

I really do get it now.

I understand how they felt about me in ways I couldn’t understand when I was younger.

I am who they were…now.

I am a mom and a Jamma. My “presents” don’t come in packages tied with bows anymore.

My favorite gifts have names and they call me names.

They made me who I am and who I want to be.

Sunday afternoon, I stood on my porch as my little blonde Charli ran as fast as she could and jumped into my arms, both of us squeezing tight after 3 months apart due to the Covid 19 outbreak and the issuing Shelter In Place.

That’s the best present. That’s the gift I was born for

I was born on Mother’s day to become a daughter that was known and loved unconditionally so I could become a mom and Jamma that knows and loves unconditionally, too, just like I was taught to do.

There’s a quote by Anne LaMont that came to mind as I was surrounded by my children and grandchildren.

“I think this is how we are supposed to be… Present and in awe.”

I was present and in awe as I watched my sons discuss politics.

I was present and in awe as I picked out yellow lantana, red salvia and purple verbana with my husband.

I was present and in awe as I read the words on the shirt my daughter picked for me.

I was present and in awe of every bite of my shortcake covered with berries and cream.

I was present and in awe of the laughter I heard coming from everyone gathered in my home.

I was present and in awe of the people that reached out to me with messages and cards and gifts that showed I was known and loved.

I was present and in awe of how much I’m becoming like the women that raised me.

Mother’s day falls on my birthday,or maybe it’s the other way around, every four years, and every time I realize more and more what a gift it is to be present and in awe of what I receive and what I give.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

May 18 2020. 8 49 a.m

http://www.jeannasoul.com

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Life.

It’s a rare thing

To get lucky enough

To have a someone

That you can lean on

Trust with your life

When it’s unraveling

Lead you back

When you find yourself

Standing on the ragged edge

Knows the words to say

To make you believe

When you begin to doubt your place

It’s hard to let anyone know

The in-and- out of your livihood

Mistakes you’ve made

The bottom line that collapsed

The sleepless nights when the struggle was real

The kind of someone that can pull things together

See real clear

Words and design that can stand the test of time

Pull together what is needed

Just in the nick of time

There’s something about someone

That can cut straight to the heart of the matter

Cover your bases

Help you get keep up appearance

With a single look in the eye

Understands your feelings

Backs up your lies

When you feel the need yo pretend for others sake

That knows your truth

And speaks it back to you

It’s quite extraordinary to have anything that can last

In times like this when so much changes

It’s a different kind of love

A kind of friendship that evolves

Lasts a lifetime

No matter what

Life, livihoods, lies, luck and love change

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

12 31 pm. May 3 2020.

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Rainbow

This verse was on my mind yesterday as I drove into Rockwall for groceries. After a trip to Aldi and then Kroger to get what I needed, I headed down John king listening to the playlist that a friend had sent me . The song, Rainbow. Was playing and I was loving the music and the drive.

Then .. my tire blew out… I pulled into a turn lane.. got out and checked the damage then sat in my seat… Wondering who to call … Before I could even call my daughter, this gentleman pulled up in a Lexus SUV and asked if I needed a hand.
Here we are Shelter In Place.. all these 6 ft distance… Etc…
That didn’t matter to neither of us.
He handled my groceries from the back of my car.. Acting as if this was a pleasure and not a nuisance….
He had his bandana around his neck so that I could read his lips…. We stood shoulder to shoulder while I held up the liner and he took my spare out, my tools, my tire jack…… He changed my tire and put all my tools back in proper place and then I reached out to shake his hand and then, I couldn’t help myself… I hugged him and he hugged me back.
I told him that he encouraged me so much by his quick response and willingness to help someone he didn’t even know.
He didn’t have a spirit of fear… But of love for a fellow human, the power to fix S problem and the sound mind to do what was good and right. He chose to fill a need… To show love.

He didn’t have to but he did.

I told him that I had to close my business March 10 and that I had been wrestling with so many thoughts but that the way he came along, he turned my flat tire into a blessing in disguise.

He reminded me that we are not created to live in fear but to act with love, strength and courage.

I was home before my popsicles melted… That’s how fast everything happened… But I’ll remember this for ab long, long time.

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Crazy Train

Never saw a label

That made me laugh

As hard as this one did

“Crazy Train”

Just might be

The very best description yet

Of the way I feel

I’m riding this crazy train

Going fast as I can

Headed out to anywhere

Just to see what it’s like

I want to ride hard and ride long

Dance on the ragged edge of life and love

I want to screech to a stop

Freeze this moment for a good long time

I want to stand up

On my tippy toes

Blow kisses to the Moon

And catch a few of my own

Dare myself to be more

Jump straight out of my comfort zone

I want to turn heads and tear up walls

Break down all those things

That used to hold me back

Rules and regulations

Other people’s expectations

I want to grab the reins

And ride that crazy train

For all I’m worth

Jeanna’ Mead

4 57 a.m. 1.23.20

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Remembered

She w\nas so surprised

When the man said

“I remember you, the way you moved, and how you danced all night long”

And deep inside

Beneath her smile

She let out the softest of cries

Yearning for the woman she was

How she moved

Danced all night

In high heels

Short dresses

Tiny tanks

Tight shorts

Worth remembering

She took his hand

And promised him

She’ll be back again

But even more

She swore to herself

That she would no longer

Sit out

On the sidelines

Feeling as if she had lost her own self

He made her

Remember who she really was

Worth being remembered

Years and years later

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

1 07 p.m 7.10.19

www. Jeannasoul.

com

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Diamonds

“Does it surprise you

That I dance

As if I have diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs”

Maya Angelou wrote these words

I claim them as my own mantra

Because I know full well

That my sexiness

My sassiness

Rubs some people all wrong

They look at me as if I should be ashamed

Or that I’m too much

And I am, for them anyways

Because I dance as if I have diamonds in the meeting of my thighs

I rise up

Let the music take my body

Wherever and however

It so desires

I dance

As if there’s a fire of passion

Burning within me

It’s one of the times

When I feel most alive

My body and soul

Become one

And I’m not ashamed

Not one bit

Of the diamonds that are in the meeting of my thighs.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

7 53 a.m. 7.8.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

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Laughing Man

She couldn’t help herself

It felt so good

To have another

Laughing man

It filled her up

In so many ways

Her cup overflowed

All the right things

Just the way she liked

So good

For her body

Her soul

Her mind

She couldn’t get enough

Of that laughing man

The pleasure he gave

Lasted all day

She would catch herself

Smiling at the memory

Laughing herself

Tickled pink

At the thought

Of her laughing man

She only wished

She could find him

Whenever she so desired

But she knew

When the time came

And she needed it the most

Her laughing man

Would be there

Filling her up again

Making her laugh

https://www.laughingmancafe.com/

❤👣Jeanna’ Mead

9 13 a.m. 6.5.19

Www.jeannasoul.com

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Fingerprints

“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ’em all over everything you do…” – Elvis Presley

She didn’t quite trust

Her own fingerprints

She wouldn’t use them

To keep her secrets locked in

For fear they would lock her out instead

She felt like her fingerprints had changed

With pressure and time

As she touched other people

Over and over

Over and over,again

Rubbing in love

Rubbing out pain

Leaving parts of her skin

Bits of her soul

In each stroke

No wonder she didn’t quite trust

Her own fingerprints

It seemed like she had

Too much of others carved into her skin

Just like the way she became

Just a little,tiny bit different

With every one she knew

Just enough to make a difference

She became who and what

Was needed at any given moment

Giving parts of her heart

Holding back parts of her body

She felt as if she was covered with the fingerprints of others

Just as surely as she had left her own

Invisible on the skin

Penetrated deep within

Down into the bones

Stained on the soul

Fingerprints

That couldn’t quite be trusted

To hold up in a court of law

But they could be trusted to hold on

To the secrets she kept

intertwined

Overlapped

Buried deep

Burned into

Her very own fingerprints

That she didn’t trust

To look the same

Over and over

Over and over,again

👣❤Jeanna’ Mead

6 46 a.m 4-7-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

My cell phone and my bank account offer the option of a fingerprint identification. I tried using it..only to get myself locked out.

I placed my finger precisely as instructed,over and over again, and it would not accept my fingerprint the second time around.

Maybe all the years of rubbing others,of burning my fingers on hot stones, cast iron pans, boiling water and this,that and another has changed my fingerprints.

I know that I have changed….I have taken all my experiences and those of the people I’ve touched and it has made me a different woman..I’m passionate..compassionate, forgiving and fiercely protective because I’ve been broken, buried,burned and blossomed into who I ask now and I wouldn’t change any of it..just like my fingerprints…these life experiences have made me who and what I was meant to be.

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Dreams Come True

DREAMS COMING TRUE

Everyone’s got a dream inside of them that they want to live out. Though the main excuse for massage is musculo-skeletal pain, often it is the pain of dreams unlived.

It is not our job to identify people’s dreams, interpret them, or to make them come true. But every tension you relieve from the body, frees people up to use their energy for higher purposes. And, who knows, with this systematic and caring relief of old and new tensions, what dreams may come true?

Believe in yourself and in your clients’ right to dream and in our ability to realize our dreams.

– David Lauterstein

Deep Massage Society

Touch me and feel me

Make my dreams come true

Hold my body in such a way

That my heart can feel brave

Trace my face, my eyes,my lips

With your fingertips

Know every curve and every scar

Memorize each part

So you will recognize me

Even in the dark

Place your hands into my hair

Cup my head and take me where

My dreams can come true.

❤👣Jeanna’ Mead

6 04 a.m 4-7-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

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Playing With Words

She purrs when she’s doing
What she pleases
Drinking what she wants
Laying in the company of the few kindred spirits
Savoring chocolates
Writing words
Kneading bodies
It’s just the way she is
A wildcat
That seems so tame
Except by those
That have heard
Her purr turn
Into a roar

👣❤ Jeanna’ Mead
725 a.m 3-19-19

He left room
Blank spaces
At the bottom
Of the page
Tempting her
To leave her mark
Expose some truths
Bare her skin
And her heart
Reach across the darkness
Tie up the loose ends
Make him yearn for more
Room
For whatever she wanted to do.

👣❤Jeanna’
7 31 a.m

132 seconds

She counted each one

To see how long

It would take

She knew it wouldn’t

Be long

132 seconds

From start to finish

Beginning to end

That’s all it took

To be done

👣💔 Jeanna’ Mead

7 00 a.m 3-20-19

Www.jeannasoul.com

Drawing

Circles

Writing words

Fingers on skin

Instead of

Pens on paper

Blank canvas

She wondered

If she could hand over

Fine tip markers

Climb up

Lay down

Let go

Release all expectations

Just to see

Which words

What art

Would appear

On her skin

👣💙Jeanna’ Mead

709 a.m 3-20-19