Stranger

There’s been a stranger in her bed

She had no idea

Thought she knew him well

After so many nights

But it all came tumbling down

Like a house of cards

She was shaken beyond words

Living a nightmare

That she couldn’t wake up from

She went over every conversation

Wondering how she missed the signs

Wondering when he crossed the line

How long it had been

Since he began to wear a mask

Hide behind a million excuses

She had no idea when he changed

Tried so hard to backtrack

To see what she might have missed

When did he become a stranger

A monster of a man

She shuddered to think of what must have gone thru his head

All those nights when he wouldn’t touch her

Made her wonder what was wrong

Doubt the way time had changed her

Placed the blame where it didn’t belong

She screamed and she collapsed

In such despair

That she had ever loved a stranger

The way she had

It was more than she ever imagined she could handle

But somehow she found out

That she was a helluva a woman

Stronger than the stranger

She would pack up and take off

Leave the past where it belonged

He was the stranger

She had no way to know

But she wasn’t about to pay the price

Any more

He had left his marks

Scars upon her soul

But that was the last time

The stranger would lay down beside her

Jeanna’ Mead

7 32 a.m. April 28,2020

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Mango On Her

It’s been so long

Longer than she ever imagined

So tonight she laid back

Placed lavender on her neck

Felt the heat soak in

Shut her eyes

Dreamed of another time

When her hands did what they pleased

Each touch went with ease

So naturally

Like the air she breathed

She missed it so

With all that she was

She couldn’t give

To anyone else

So she did what she could

Poured the mango oil onto her skin

Rubbed it in

Made her legs smooth as silk

Reached up as high as she could

Missed a few spots

Here and there

But she didn’t care

She smelled like herself

Coconut oil

Jasmine and chocolate

With tinges of mango

If you got close enough

To kiss her

But only then

Because she believed

Scent was part of the magic

Making it hard to think straight

As she laid back

And let Sleep lead the dance

That she knew she needed

As well as she knew

How good the mango oil felt on her

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

12 49 a.m. April 21 2020

Still Alive

There’s an old tree

Given to me

Many years ago

Bought for one dollar in a pretty pot

That was worth more

I planted it with high hopes

Not knowing what it was to become

It grew and spread

It’s branches to the sky

The roots became the resting place

For some of our beloves

I took that dollar tree for granted

Till the days I noticed

It wasn’t sprouting any new leaves

The branches seemed to break with ease

As if it had lost all of it’s strength

For a fleeting moment

I thought of taking the old chainsaw and cutting it down

Until I sat outside, wrapped up in covers

Drinking coffee

Listening to the birds

Hearing the Spirit

Speak softly to me

Reminding me, tenderly

There’s beauty and purpose left in this tree

There’s always more that meets the eye

Look for the treasures

Find the light

Make something out of nothing

Just like you were taught

So I decided, right then and there

This old dollar tree was still alive

Branches reach up to the sky

Singing a song

“Every blessing You pour out

I’ll turn back into praise”

I saw the chance

Without the leaves

It became a place to hang

Things that made my soul dance within my body

Pieces that would be discarded or forgotten

Take on a new life

With beauty and purpose

A few bells to ring

A yellow tire swing

Metal pitcher

Heart made from a hanger

Baubles and beads that had been collecting dust

Found themselves hanging up, gracing the branches

This old dollar tree

Still has lessons for me

There’s beauty and purpose in everything

I can hear the voice

Of the woman that raised me

“Don’t you dare give up on anything, all it needs is love.”

Beauty and purpose

Is still alive

Jeanna’ Mead

April 20 2020

7 12 a.m

http://www.jesnnasoul.com

The Moon

She looked straight up at the moon
Felt like the moon was watching her
This time around
Saw how she kept parts of herself hidden
Just like the moon
How sometimes she seemed to shine
Brighter than ever
Just like the moon
And other times,
She disappeared
Into the clouds
And the night
Invisible unless someone knew
What to use and how to find
Her and the moon💙👣

Jeanna’ Mead

April 10 2020

My friend sent me this after reading The Moon …I had to edit and add it… He’s on my wavelength, that City Boy knows this Country Girl…

.Why I Love the Moon 🌙https://youtu.be/eO4Yb6YosRI

Vision2020

This …. Right here …. I knew that if I didn’t go out on my own in 2013, I would regret it…. When the chance came to move to 925, I knew that if I didn’t follow my instincts, I would regret it.

I’ve taken a lot of chances that most people thought were crazy….

This week I’ve decided to take a couple of other chances…. Because I never want to be woman that talks about what she let get away, and the chances she didn’t take..

Someone told me that I don’t give myself enough credit… That’s not true… I know exactly what I’ve done and what I’ve done without … and I know who believed in me and encouraged me and reminded me when it got tough. I’m grateful .. and I make damn sure they know.

I decided to look for signs that I was meant to take the next chance.. and it came perfectly clear and abundantly so.

This next steps are going to be amazing…I can feel it ..

#Vision2020 #dreamscometrue #bestisyettobe #loveyourbody #rockwallbodyandsoulmassage #jeannasoul #musicandmassage #damnstraight #deaftherapist #writingmyheartout

Crazy Train

Never saw a label

That made me laugh

As hard as this one did

“Crazy Train”

Just might be

The very best description yet

Of the way I feel

I’m riding this crazy train

Going fast as I can

Headed out to anywhere

Just to see what it’s like

I want to ride hard and ride long

Dance on the ragged edge of life and love

I want to screech to a stop

Freeze this moment for a good long time

I want to stand up

On my tippy toes

Blow kisses to the Moon

And catch a few of my own

Dare myself to be more

Jump straight out of my comfort zone

I want to turn heads and tear up walls

Break down all those things

That used to hold me back

Rules and regulations

Other people’s expectations

I want to grab the reins

And ride that crazy train

For all I’m worth

Jeanna’ Mead

4 57 a.m. 1.23.20

She Knew

Listening to this song while drinking coffee in Christmas morning

.https://open.spotify.com/track/4z8sz6E4YyFuEkv5o7IJni?si=H-jlAXihRWC4iq1qQieQS.

Mary knew. I’m sure of it.

A woman’s intuition.

She knew and she kissed her baby boy knowing full well she was kissing the face of God.

She wasn’t intimidated. She wasn’t afraid. She was His mother and she did what came naturally. She kissed Him. She loved Him. She held Him and she soothed Him.

She gave Him love and she received love back.

Imagine this, the Lord Jesus snuggling up to His mom, nestling in her embrace, loved and accepted, cherished and wanted.

Mary was filling His needs-for warmth, for food, for shelter, for attention, for compassion, for change (yes, He had to be changed.. yes,even the baby Jesus pooped).

We tend to gloss over some parts but we shouldn’t, it’s the truth.

Babies need to be changed and sometimes it stinks and it’s messy but we do it anyways, because that’s what love does.

Love does what’s necessary and what’s good and what has to be done.

Not just the things that look good and feel good, but the hard things, the tiring things and the things that take time and energy.

Mary knew it had to be done and she did it with love, with intention, and with gratitude that she was the one who was the chosen to do so.

Chosen.

Think about that for a second.

Mary was chosen to be the mother of Jesus.

And she knew it.

She didn’t understand why, but she knew she was.

So she kissed her baby boy and she kissed the face of God and He, in return, kissed her.

Today when you choose to kiss someone, kiss them with the intention and knowledge that you are kissing the face of God, too.

There is truth there.. for each and every person was created by God, for a reason and a plan that He alone understands.

We need to remember this…

Just as Mary gave Love to her baby boy, we need to give love, not just gifts wrapped in paper and tied with ribbons, with tags of a few chosen people.

We need to give love generously, gently, graciously to those people that cross our paths, that come into our lives, that somehow bump into us.

Ever stop and think that maybe, just maybe God chose that meeting, chose that person to come into your life, chose YOU to be the one that’s present and in awe of the chance to give and receive love.

Kind of like Mary was.

I think we know this.

Intuition.

We know that Love is the greatest gift we have.

So please give it, receive it, share it, find it, celebrate it, embrace it and be it.

Choose to be like Mary and choose to be like God .

I think we all want to do this just has we instinctively know that Love is what we should be giving, but we get intimidated and afraid.

We fall back on rules and regulations and on lists and others things.

We choose.

Sometimes we choose not to love, not to give, not to receive, not to embrace and not to be present and in awe.

Isn’t that a shame?

Think about it… A baby needs a mother.. needs to be held and touched, to be nurtured and loved.

It’s that simple.

And really, so is everything else.

Mary knew that.

And so do we, deep down in our soul.

So Merry Christmas, may you love more and be loved more.

Jeanna’Mead

7 32 a.m. 12.25.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Bliss, Snake Oil, and Kisses

She opens up the very last tiny vial

Breathes in the intoxicating scent

That took her back in time

Broke her heart just a little

Made her wonder

And remember

Once upon a time

She stood up on her tippy toes

To reach as high as she could

Held on and let go

All at once

This morning she decided she wouldn’t wait

Any longer

Expect anyone else to know

Her beloved favorites

Scents and words

She had always worn

That she longed to have more

A woman once grabbed her

Pressed her lips

Against her hand

Breathed in and said,

“You smell like a head shop, a little booze and musk… It suits you well”

“It’s mysterious and inviting”

She could only laugh

At the idea

That she was mysterious and inviting

Weren’t those two things a contradiction

At the very least

But secretly she knew

She was someone’s idea of bliss

She was a little too intense

A bit too sensual

Scared a few just a little

Made others long for more

She read lips and minds

Understood the language of the eyes

She laid the stones

Spoke the words

Filled the air with clarity

And sometimes it was a bit too much

A little snake oil, blood kisses, mixed with bliss and twenty one vices

She couldn’t resist any longer

The very last vial had shown her

If she wanted something, she must be the one

Instead of waiting for someone else

She knew herself best

What she wanted to be

Mysterious and inviting

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

6 17 a.m. 12.23.19

(For the giver of Bliss .. Words become art)

Bad Romance

Two weeks ago, I had a new client finally come in to see me.

We had interacted on social media for months and I knew he was following me on my posts on Facebook and Instagram.

This is how it is with First Responders and Veterans. They take their time, learning about who I am and what I do before they come into my place and receive bodywork.

It takes time. It takes trust. It doesn’t happen overnight. It can’t be rushed.

I know this and I just let it come when it does. I open the door to communicate and I let them gaze at the door as long as it takes before they walk across the threshold and into my space.

And I’m ready when they do.

Most of the time.

I’m not always prepared, though, for everything that happens.

You see, while I have the door open so I can gain their trust, something else happens.

I become known. I become seen. I become vulnerable. I get touched in all kinds of ways.

And sometimes it reminds me of who I was and who I need to be.

Days after his session, my client sends me this video with the comment,”The girl on the right reminds me of you.”

I clicked it.

I was transfixed.

It was like looking in the mirror, seeing myself again.

Me.

The girl I was. The woman I am.

Tears ran down my face.

I watched it again and again.

The hair.

The dress.

The color.

Everything.

I got home and walked into my closet.

I have a dress almost exactly like that, still.

I turned on the music, really, really loud.

I begin to dance.

Again.

I caught my reflection in the mirror.

I was smiling.

The big, real, genuine Jack O’Lantern smile that Mema always said gave me away.

“Gave me away.”

That’s what it is… Some things just give you away, give away your passions, your pleasures, your so-called “buttons” that only people that take the time to watch and see, listen and learn, find out about you.

It’s a romance in many ways.

I know that it’s a give and take, to give fully, one must be willing to receive fully, too.

An open door goes both ways.. One can come in and one can go out.

One can see inside and one can be seen from outside.

I know my client doesn’t realize the gift he gave me when he sent the video.

It is a gift, though, in a very beautiful way.

He reminded me of what one of my heart desires is, of something I had pushed way back and let go of.

I needed this reminder so very much.

It made me stop and think and write down what I wanted and needed in my life.

To be known and loved.

To know and love.

To dance on the edge.

To dance again.

To open doors.

To come back.

To go forward.

Bad romances and all.

To be the woman in the dress, dancing my heart out.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

938 a.m. 11.26.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Soul Speak (Opened door again)

S O U L S P E A K

Whispered
Art
Falling
On A World
Of Deaf Ears

Drenched
With
Emotion

Igniting
A
Spark

A
Dying
Language
Always
On The Brink
Of Extinction

Seducing
With
Beauty
That
Conceals
The
Razor
Of
Truth

My
Soul
Speaks
In
Empathy’s
Quiet
Untrembling
Voice

Elusive
And
In-Direct

A
Masochistic
Endeavor
Revealing
The
Gentlest
Form
Of
Human
Courage

Invisible
Footprints
No Mountain
Can Erode

Soothing
Our
Wounds

Making
Our
Scars
More
Beautiful…

-randini-

What can I say

My deaf ears heard

So many things

When the soul would speak

I sat captived

Eyes unwavering

Lips formed words

Pierced my heart

Broke it into a million pieces

Just as I asked

Long ago

Be careful

So I was told

What you ask for

You just might get

I wanted a broken heart

And a soul on fire

Filled to the brim and beyond

With invisible footprints

Left by all those

That walked in

Made themselves at home

Carved their names

Into the walls of me

And filled me with the courage I needed

To see the beauty

In all the scars

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

707 a.m 9.18.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com