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Expecting Too Much

. Well. I guess it’s the truth

I go about my day

and I go about my life

Expecting too much

when I should have learned

 good and well by now

that I shouldn’t expect

all that much

I should not expect

my mind to be read

or the lights to always shine

just right

it’s probably way too much

to expect anyone

to read between the lines

catch the little nuances

tiny details

that show how well

one is known and loved

I shouldn’t expect

to receive back

what I always give

although it sure would

be nice

Maybe,just maybe

I really do expect

way too much

like work to be done

treasures to be found

an Americano to be handed to me

with a wink and a smile

of understanding

I expect flowers to bloom

as soon as I plant ’em

and the boots to fit

I expect sugar on toast

a hug and a kiss

Sweet talking

belly laughing

and grace to be extended

my way

I expect dates to be remembered

Things to be done

and promises to be made

I expect to be asked

to dance

to have a drink

to come on over

dive in and savor

 an invitation

I expect to miss out

struggle to understand

read lips

best as I can

I expect to find my way

carve out some space

turn the trash from another

into a treasure of my own

I expect to find beauty

where the ashes used to be

and I sure do see

what others expect from me

I expect way too much

and it’s just the way I am



👣💗Jeanna’ Mead

4 32 p.m. 4-7-18.

http://www.Jeannasoul.com

AVA, Cast Your Stone, Choose to be love, Create A Ripple Effect, Daily Prompt, deaf girl, Deaf Massage Therapist, Heart to heart, Jeanna' Soul, kindred spirits, Make Love, massage, Massage with Soul, Uncategorized, writers with soul, Writing

Flowers and Faith

Yesterday,my client was running just a few minutes late which gave me time to walk outside and look at the flowerbeds and the empty pots. I stood there in the front yard, and adjusted the single pot of pansies, and picked up the picture that had the saying, “Life is a journey..enjoy it.” engraved on it then I walked to the back patio and gazed at the yard and the bare trees and felt the familiar tinge in my heart- the call of nature, the urge to plant and be filled with the peace that comes to me every time I am doing what I love.

Since I had found out that I would need to find another place for my business, Rockwall Body and Soul Massage, soon, I had made a conscious decision to step away from my beloved patio and not to purchase the patio sectional that I had wanted or plant new flowers.  “It’s not going to be yours much longer,” I reminded myself, “Let it go, let it all go.”

When my client arrived, we chatted just a few minutes and then I started his session. moving my hards, gazing out the window, letting my mind focus on what I love to do and as I was working on him, I felt as if God was speaking to me, a whisper of assurance,
“Plant flowers, Jeanna’, plant flowers here.”  and then again, “Go ahead, buy that patio furniture you want.  Have faith.  Believe that there will be a place for you. ”

Believe. Faith. Plant.  Go  Ahead.

Tears sprung in my eyes. This is what I needed to hear, to feel– that deep, down assurance, that powerful boost of courage and conviction that didn’t always fit logic but that had always been my guide- God speaking to me.. and my intution kicking in.

I decided right then and there that I would go to Lowe’s after my last session and buy a few flowers and check out the sectionals. During my gap between clients, I jumped in my car and drive over to Greg’s office to share what I had experienced with him and he just smiled at me and told me to go ahead and do what I felt I was told to do.

My next stop was to Tuesday Morning where I went in with the intention to get a birthday gift, gift boxes and tissue paper but, like  always, I rambled over to the garden section and then to the wall decor and there was another sign, waiting for me .

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”  Simple black letters on a glass pane spoke further truth to my soul.   I held those words in my hands for just a few seconds but they made their mark on my heart.

I found some small garden stones inscribed with e words that I was searching for – a blue one with “love” and two white ones, one with “faith” and one with “believe”  and I felt as if this was all coming together in ways that I had not expected.

Saturday morning of March 3, I planted lantana and placed the stone with  “BELIEVE” in the middle of the blooms and then I placed “FAITH” in a pot  filled with red dianthus  and I laid the stone of  “LOVE”  right by the front door where everyone that walks up will see it and maybe, just maybe they will feel it.

This is one of those times that I just lmow that I am doing the right thing and another thought keeps running through my head, “It is mine, until it is not.”

It is mine… until it is not.  It is until it is not.

Let this sink in for a moment. Ponder these words.  “It is mine, until it is not.”

This house where I operate my massage studio is still mine, until it is not, and I am going to leave it better than I found it, but most importantly, until the day comes that I no longer have a key, I will fill the place with my presence, with love, with faith, with attention to detail and yes, with red, yellow, pink and purple flowers.  I will choose to decorate, to create and to make memories.  It is still mine, after all and it is a reflection of who I am and what I want to be known for.but

Maybe this is something that we all need to give some real consideration to. what we have is only ours until it is not…and during that time- no matter how brief or how long- we need to make the most of it.  We aren’t guaranteed anything but yet we have enough faith to develop friendships, we have enough courage to start a business, enough love to pursue somone and we believe enough to plant flowers and create gardens.

All these words, all these thoughts, all these choices and one thing I know for sure is that whatever happens, wherever I go, whatever I do, it is my chance,  my choice,and only mine until it is not and I want to be known for love, for faith, for believing and for having the courage to listen to the whisper of God and go ahead, to chase my dreams and follow my intuition and to love who I am with and where I am, as long as I can.

It is mine,after all, until it is not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Uncategorized

She worn a red dress

that she had bought herself

with the boots that were bought

by someone else

that she had touched long ago

She worn red lipstick

left lip prints on wine glasses

coffee cups

and the cheeks of those she kissed

She worn a red scarlet letter

carved upon her heart

unseen but known

well and deep

She worn a red leather strap

tied and knotted 

around the silver words

she always said

She worn red

one of the colours 

she loved the best

There was just something

about the way

it  seemed to match

the way she felt

Red hot and full of life

bursting out of the chaos

set apart

dancing to the rhythm

only she could feel

writers with soul

Shock

It came as a shock

looking at the picture

she had no idea 

that she had let time

cast such a shadow over

the woman she once was

it was enough of a shock

to pull her out of the box

of regrets and mishaps

to begin all over again

with fierce resolve and determination

to conquer the past

shock herself

and everyone else

by becoming the woman

she wanted to be in the pictures

💗Jeanna’ Mead

8 21 a.m.  1-17-17

http://www.jeannasoul.com