Tag: #beautifuldifferences
Missing Pieces
I placed a 550 piece puzzle on the coffee table at my massage studio and encouraged the clients that were waiting to put it together, to find the pieces and fit them into place, to search and seek and to use their mind and hands in a productive, creative way.
After a week, I came out of session to see the puzzle completed….as best as it could be. Four pieces of the puzzle were missing, so I got on my hands and knees and searched for the wayward pieces.
I found two pieces which I quickly put where they belonged and then I swept under the furniture and looked underneath the cushions of the chairs and couch but the missing pieces were not to be found.
My original plan had been to glue and frame the puzzle and use it for art on the walls of the studio, but the missing pieces made me change my plan. but then….it hit me right in my heart of hearts.
Things don’t have to be complete to be beautiful. Life isn’t perfect and all the pieces don’t always fit in all nice and neat.
Everything doesn’t always fall into place and yet….there is beauty in the brokenness, in the vintage treasures,in the imperfections and in the space.
I don’t have to hear everything in order to understand the intention of what is said. I lip read and even at my best, there are still times I miss words and just fill in the blanks with my imagination…and sometimes that’s even better….or worse.
I also use AVA, the Audio Visual Accessibility app, to help me catch what people say.
Often my hearing friends stare at AVA and find flaws…they see the things AVA misunderstands,the parts that are muddled, the missing phases, the words that weren’t spoken…and they shake their heads and question the reliability and purpose of AVA.
However, I see AVA with different eyes than they do and my perspective changes theirs.
AVA gives me more than I have ever had, it gives me glimpses of conversations that I would have never caught, pieces of lyrics, words from people as they pass by, random bits and pieces that hearing people take for granted.
AVA lets “overhear”..eavesdrop,if you will call it that…all the things I’ve never been able to understand. I hold AVA while at soccer games and finally have a clue to what the other parents are laughing about.
I sit AVA on the counter as I check out at Kroger and read the flirtatious batter between the teenage cashier and the sacker.
Of course I don’t get every single word but I get more than I’ve ever had before in my life.
Another thing that came to mind as I looked at the puzzle with the missing pieces is relationships.
So often we expect another person to completely fill every need and want we have.We expect our loved ones to read our minds and fulfill all our desires.
Then if that doesn’t happen,we get disappointed, angry and hurt and throw up our hands and knock the puzzle to the floor, so to speak.
If all the “pieces” of our relationship don’t fit, match up perfectly, or look as good as we think it should, then we tend to overlook all the other pieces that do.
Isn’t that tragic? Instead of seeing the parts that are good. the focus centers on what isn’t. Instead of exclaiming over the beauty, the attention falls on the imperfections.
It’s as if it’s an incomplete puzzle that must be broken apart and put back in the box, stuck in the shelf of a closet until maybe,just maybe the other pieces show up.
I wonder,though, what it would be like if we overlooked the missing pieces and choose to see the big picture….to use our imagination to fill in the empty spaces with love and grace and a sense of humor….
Like this puzzle I had at the studio…look closely and you’ll see the bird in flight, the cat, the intricate designs and brilliant colors….and if you focus on those, you’ll find that the missing pieces just seem to fade into the background and not make much difference at all.
That’s how I choose to see life..as a gigantic puzzle with several pieces that just don’t fit and it’s all the more beautiful because of it and that’s how I see AVA…it’s another puzzle that is absolutely beautiful in my eyes.
We are puzzles ourselves..incomplete,complicated,and beautifully designed….and we all have missing pieces….and that’s perfectly okay.
Light Up My Life
When it’s too dark
and I can’t see your lips clearly
Light up my life
with your touch
come in a little closer
and let me feel
the rise and fall
of every breath you take
let me smell the scent you wear
and the ones you have
that make you who you are
Turn on the lights
if there are any near
but if you’ll just speak
good and clear
AVA will catch it all
light up my life
and we can sit
in the dark
feel the breeze
count the stars
and I won’t be
hiding behind a facade
pretending to be
anything I’m not
because I can finally
be exactly
whereever you want
to light up my life
👣💗 Jeanna’ Mead
5 08 p.m. 4-17-18
Inexpressible.
💗These aren’t my words but they are my thoughts and my hope. I’ve only experienced the beauty of this a few times in my life. and I’ve learned it’s easily lost, difficult to obtain and never forgotten….
I do hope that I give a sense of Inexpressible warmth and compassion..I so desire for people to feel drawn to me enough to trust me to come inside.
Falling Deep
Flowers and Faith
Yesterday,my client was running just a few minutes late which gave me time to walk outside and look at the flowerbeds and the empty pots. I stood there in the front yard, and adjusted the single pot of pansies, and picked up the picture that had the saying, “Life is a journey..enjoy it.” engraved on it then I walked to the back patio and gazed at the yard and the bare trees and felt the familiar tinge in my heart- the call of nature, the urge to plant and be filled with the peace that comes to me every time I am doing what I love.
Since I had found out that I would need to find another place for my business, Rockwall Body and Soul Massage, soon, I had made a conscious decision to step away from my beloved patio and not to purchase the patio sectional that I had wanted or plant new flowers. “It’s not going to be yours much longer,” I reminded myself, “Let it go, let it all go.”
When my client arrived, we chatted just a few minutes and then I started his session. moving my hards, gazing out the window, letting my mind focus on what I love to do and as I was working on him, I felt as if God was speaking to me, a whisper of assurance,
“Plant flowers, Jeanna’, plant flowers here.” and then again, “Go ahead, buy that patio furniture you want. Have faith. Believe that there will be a place for you. ”
Believe. Faith. Plant. Go Ahead.
Tears sprung in my eyes. This is what I needed to hear, to feel– that deep, down assurance, that powerful boost of courage and conviction that didn’t always fit logic but that had always been my guide- God speaking to me.. and my intution kicking in.
I decided right then and there that I would go to Lowe’s after my last session and buy a few flowers and check out the sectionals. During my gap between clients, I jumped in my car and drive over to Greg’s office to share what I had experienced with him and he just smiled at me and told me to go ahead and do what I felt I was told to do.
My next stop was to Tuesday Morning where I went in with the intention to get a birthday gift, gift boxes and tissue paper but, like always, I rambled over to the garden section and then to the wall decor and there was another sign, waiting for me .
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” Simple black letters on a glass pane spoke further truth to my soul. I held those words in my hands for just a few seconds but they made their mark on my heart.
I found some small garden stones inscribed with e words that I was searching for – a blue one with “love” and two white ones, one with “faith” and one with “believe” and I felt as if this was all coming together in ways that I had not expected.
Saturday morning of March 3, I planted lantana and placed the stone with “BELIEVE” in the middle of the blooms and then I placed “FAITH” in a pot filled with red dianthus and I laid the stone of “LOVE” right by the front door where everyone that walks up will see it and maybe, just maybe they will feel it.
This is one of those times that I just lmow that I am doing the right thing and another thought keeps running through my head, “It is mine, until it is not.”
It is mine… until it is not. It is until it is not.
Let this sink in for a moment. Ponder these words. “It is mine, until it is not.”
This house where I operate my massage studio is still mine, until it is not, and I am going to leave it better than I found it, but most importantly, until the day comes that I no longer have a key, I will fill the place with my presence, with love, with faith, with attention to detail and yes, with red, yellow, pink and purple flowers. I will choose to decorate, to create and to make memories. It is still mine, after all and it is a reflection of who I am and what I want to be known for.but
Maybe this is something that we all need to give some real consideration to. what we have is only ours until it is not…and during that time- no matter how brief or how long- we need to make the most of it. We aren’t guaranteed anything but yet we have enough faith to develop friendships, we have enough courage to start a business, enough love to pursue somone and we believe enough to plant flowers and create gardens.
All these words, all these thoughts, all these choices and one thing I know for sure is that whatever happens, wherever I go, whatever I do, it is my chance, my choice,and only mine until it is not and I want to be known for love, for faith, for believing and for having the courage to listen to the whisper of God and go ahead, to chase my dreams and follow my intuition and to love who I am with and where I am, as long as I can.
It is mine,after all, until it is not.
h
Margaritas And Music
Here I am, sitting in a chair
A woman is putting color in my hair
just like Mema always did
I’m carrying on the tradition
ain’t no gray gonna give me away
I already had my coffee
dipped a cookie in the cup
listened this morning
to all the greats
those deep. rugged voices of the men she loved so much
Got me a little Conway, Tom T and Marty
“Elvira” by those Oak Ridge Boys
I’m going to do a little shopping
buy something bright and sparkly
I won’t know until I see it
and it calls me by my name
Then when I’m good and ready
all dolled up and looking pretty
I’m going to sit at a table
with others that knew and loved
her just as much as me
drink a frozen cmargarita
eat a bunch of sopapillas
covered in honey
tell a few good stories
flirt up a storm with the waiter
sweet talk to everyone
just exactly like my Mema
would want me to do
celebrating her birthday
just like she would do
carrying on traditions
like I was raised to do
.
Jeanna’ Mead
12 04 p.m. 1-25-17
Happy Birthday, Mema
I love your bones!❤❤
Deaf and Blind
I’ll just come right out and say it as clear as I can.
I’m deaf and blind.
I was told, “Jeanna’,don’t be blinded.” because I disagreed with several women in a post about knowing the heart of another person.
Well, when well-meaning, holy rollers start quoting scripture and verse, claiming to know what the “real truth” is then I’m going to pull on my boots, walk away and let them think they had the last word.
But the truth is, I’m really just choosing to be deaf and blind.
Blind to the self-righteous accusations and finger-pointing. Blind to the veiled questions,the double standards,the hypocrisy that I see all too often.
I’m going to be deaf-really deaf to the words that slander and tear apart people, to the gossip disguised as prayers, to the nay-sayers that are so quick to point out another’s wrongs while sugar coating their own.
Lord, have mercy, I believe in those words written in red, especially those that command very clearly to “love one another as I have loved you.” and all those about how God created heaven and earth and all that is within it.
I can’t quote scripture by chapter and verse and I’m impressed but not intimidated by those that can. You see, God gives each of us different gifts- some get the gift of memorizing and others get the gift of touch, some people get the gift of vision and others the gift of understanding and so on and on.
Back before Christmas, I was listening to this preacher man and he pulled up this verse and i decided right then and there that verse was going to be my verse.
It’s Luke 2:19…and here it goes.
“Mary held these things in her heart and thought about them often.”
Well, there you go- clear and simple. “Held these things in her heart.”
That tells me that we can hold things in our hearts-without broadcasting on social media,without tattle-telling, without making a big scene and pushing our beliefs on others.
We can hold what really matters in our hearts and think about it often. We can hold the things we wrestle with and the things we pray about in our hearts. We can hold it, think about it and know that God in the heavens knows our hearts far better than we do.
We can choose to love more, to find the goodness in people, to seek out the beauty and radiance and to be deaf and blind to anything that takes away from that.
I can’t claim, like those women did, to know the heart of anyone else. While they claimed that the woman they were jumping on didn’t KNOW God, all I could think was this- “God knows HER” and that’s the bottom line, only God knows what each of us holds in our hearts, only God knows how much we love,who we love and how we feel and that’s good enough for me.
I will hold these things in my heart, and write the words that come tumbling out and I know that I may be accused of being blind and deaf but I sure won’t be accused of not loving and in the end that’s all that’s necessary.
So I’ll leave you with a song that came to mind…take it away…..
https://open.spotify.com/track/1oxxjnha9ceWHO443oSVRk?si=HBtbrZdYRoKn-yjYvgMGnw
Wonder Why
Bright Pink Scarf
Week after week
on Sunday mornings
I show up
Walk right through the door
get another cup of coffee
and take a seat
down as close as I can be
just like I’m supposed to do
holding my head up high
holding AVA tight
None of the church ladies
and certainly not the men
have ever said a word
more than a half hearted “hello”
and I can’t quite figure out
the real reasons why
Maybe it’s because I can’t hear
maybe they just don’t care
maybe I’m not the type
they want around
Heaven knows
I sure don’t try
hard at all
But just this one time
a lady said,
” I like your bright pink scarf”
and I didn’t hear
because she stood
so far away
like most people tend to do
If it wasn’t for the man
that sits beside me
week after week
on Sunday mornings
I never would have known
Sometimes I just have
to stop and think
count my many blessings
know that God alone
knows everything
and loves me just the same
He knows this bright pink scarf
isn’t just fabric wrapped around my neck
it’s a gift from a kindred spirit
that always sits besides me
lip syncs lyrics
loves me just the way I am
and when I’m wearing
something I’ve been given
I’m wearing love and acceptance
and I feel it
down in my soul
like a kiss from heaven
little bit of lovin’
standing out and set apart
like my bright pink scarf
Jeanna' Soul 
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