Categories
Uncategorized

Another Women’s Words

I am not old….she said
I am rare

I am the standing ovation
At the end of the play

I am the retrospective
Of my life as Art

I am the hours
Connected like dots
Into good sense

I am the fullness
Of existing

You think I am waiting to die
But I am waiting to be found

I am a treasure
I am a map

And these wrinkles are
Imprints of my journey

Ask me anything

Samantha Reynolds, poet..

I read these words and I cried at the beauty and the simplicity and the truth.

I thought of the women I know that have stories I would like to know

I wonder if they wish to be asked… To be found.. to be seen… To be known

As more than just “the old lady that sits on the far left pew”

Or the one that whispers to herself as she plants seeds of flowers

I wonder if those ladies I know wish I would ask them anything

I wonder if they would answer

Would I be surprised? Would they?

What about me? Would I tell stories and answer questions

If I was asked anything?

Or would I gaze away and say,

“you shouldn’t ask questions like that”

While thinking to myself of what I know

And who I am

Underneath it all

I am not getting old, not really

I am becoming my self

My body caresses my soul

My soul caresses my body

I find the treasures in the moments and the questions and the words of another woman

Jeanna’ Mead, poet, too

Beautiful picture.
Categories
Uncategorized

Another Woman

Another woman

Wrote these words

But this woman

Felt them

Like a slap in the face

A punch in the stomach

She knew the pain

All too well

She wrote her own words

Imagined herself

Walking with the stars in the sky

On a beach late at night

Sharing deep thoughts

Not the shallow ones at all

that’s the way it was

For the another woman

Seems like

👣💙 Jeanna’ Mead

9 40 a.m. April 28 2020

Categories
Uncategorized

Stranger

There’s been a stranger in her bed

She had no idea

Thought she knew him well

After so many nights

But it all came tumbling down

Like a house of cards

She was shaken beyond words

Living a nightmare

That she couldn’t wake up from

She went over every conversation

Wondering how she missed the signs

Wondering when he crossed the line

How long it had been

Since he began to wear a mask

Hide behind a million excuses

She had no idea when he changed

Tried so hard to backtrack

To see what she might have missed

When did he become a stranger

A monster of a man

She shuddered to think of what must have gone thru his head

All those nights when he wouldn’t touch her

Made her wonder what was wrong

Doubt the way time had changed her

Placed the blame where it didn’t belong

She screamed and she collapsed

In such despair

That she had ever loved a stranger

The way she had

It was more than she ever imagined she could handle

But somehow she found out

That she was a helluva a woman

Stronger than the stranger

She would pack up and take off

Leave the past where it belonged

He was the stranger

She had no way to know

But she wasn’t about to pay the price

Any more

He had left his marks

Scars upon her soul

But that was the last time

The stranger would lay down beside her

Jeanna’ Mead

7 32 a.m. April 28,2020

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Categories
Uncategorized

Still Alive

There’s an old tree

Given to me

Many years ago

Bought for one dollar in a pretty pot

That was worth more

I planted it with high hopes

Not knowing what it was to become

It grew and spread

It’s branches to the sky

The roots became the resting place

For some of our beloves

I took that dollar tree for granted

Till the days I noticed

It wasn’t sprouting any new leaves

The branches seemed to break with ease

As if it had lost all of it’s strength

For a fleeting moment

I thought of taking the old chainsaw and cutting it down

Until I sat outside, wrapped up in covers

Drinking coffee

Listening to the birds

Hearing the Spirit

Speak softly to me

Reminding me, tenderly

There’s beauty and purpose left in this tree

There’s always more that meets the eye

Look for the treasures

Find the light

Make something out of nothing

Just like you were taught

So I decided, right then and there

This old dollar tree was still alive

Branches reach up to the sky

Singing a song

“Every blessing You pour out

I’ll turn back into praise”

I saw the chance

Without the leaves

It became a place to hang

Things that made my soul dance within my body

Pieces that would be discarded or forgotten

Take on a new life

With beauty and purpose

A few bells to ring

A yellow tire swing

Metal pitcher

Heart made from a hanger

Baubles and beads that had been collecting dust

Found themselves hanging up, gracing the branches

This old dollar tree

Still has lessons for me

There’s beauty and purpose in everything

I can hear the voice

Of the woman that raised me

“Don’t you dare give up on anything, all it needs is love.”

Beauty and purpose

Is still alive

Jeanna’ Mead

April 20 2020

7 12 a.m

http://www.jesnnasoul.com

Categories
Uncategorized

Vision2020

This …. Right here …. I knew that if I didn’t go out on my own in 2013, I would regret it…. When the chance came to move to 925, I knew that if I didn’t follow my instincts, I would regret it.

I’ve taken a lot of chances that most people thought were crazy….

This week I’ve decided to take a couple of other chances…. Because I never want to be woman that talks about what she let get away, and the chances she didn’t take..

Someone told me that I don’t give myself enough credit… That’s not true… I know exactly what I’ve done and what I’ve done without … and I know who believed in me and encouraged me and reminded me when it got tough. I’m grateful .. and I make damn sure they know.

I decided to look for signs that I was meant to take the next chance.. and it came perfectly clear and abundantly so.

This next steps are going to be amazing…I can feel it ..

#Vision2020 #dreamscometrue #bestisyettobe #loveyourbody #rockwallbodyandsoulmassage #jeannasoul #musicandmassage #damnstraight #deaftherapist #writingmyheartout

Categories
Uncategorized

Around 2 a. m

She woke up

From a restless sleep

Where she dreamed of

What she wanted

Everything she needed

and mysterious things

That probably had some meaning

And like she always did

Around 2 a.m

what came natural

she curled up

With a blanket wrapped

around her

She wrote her heart out

The only way she knew how

And she wished for coffee

But didn’t want to walk

All the way downstairs

Leave the warmth for the col

the bottom half

Never stayed warm enough, anyways

Around 2 a.m

She would do without coffee

For now

But she would not do

the feel of her blanket

The sound of the music

or the words she found

Waiting to be read

Around 2 a.m

3.29 a.m. 2.6.2020

Www.jeannasoul.com

Categories
Uncategorized

Men

Open letter to men,

I want you to know that I see the ways in which we (women) have contributed to the wounding of the masculine psyche.

We don’t often recognize that while we talk about how men have hurt women in this culture, women are also hurting men.

With our words, our actions, and our unreasonable exceptions of you.

I want you to know that being vulnerable is masculine.

That to give me the gift of seeing you in your vulnerability is a blessing, not something to curse.

I want you to know that I will never tell you to “man-up” again. It must hurt to hear that when you are stumbling, you are no longer perceived as a man.

You may even be confused as to what’s expected of you now that so much has changed.

Dear men, we still want you. We still need you.

I want you to know that your energy, your presence, your commitment and your devotion show me that I am safe, protected and cared for.

I want you to know that I can hold space for you too, just like you do for me.

I can witness your emotions, sit with your tears, or be with you when you’re confused.

You are human, it’s ok if you stumble.

I will not leave you if you cry.

I want you to know that you’re not expected to perform or be ready to at all times.

Most of all, making love is about presence, it’s about passion, it’s about true connection.

Make eye contact with me when our bodies connect, show me you’re with me, give me your energy, and you will feel our passion rise to create true love.

When things go sideways let’s laugh together. Intimacy is more than just sex, it’s about kisses, snuggles, eye-gazing, and conversation. It’s many forms of expression.

I want you to know, that you are most attractive when you are fully expressed. I want to see you dance, to laugh, to play, to hug and give/receive love.

Dear men, you are safe to be yourself.

As a woman, I promise to do my best to contribute to the rising and healing of the masculine, alongside the feminine.

This is not a one sided journey. We need women to rise, and we need men. We need you too, so please show up with us.

I want you to know that I see you.

You are valuable beyond measure and the gifts you provide are different and unique to what a woman provides, and this is why communities are made up of all genders, not just men or just women.

We are meant to work together, to support one another, to cherish each others differences, not demonize them because we have false expectations that aren’t being met.

I want you to know that I will do my healing work and support women in theirs so that projections of the mother or father are not placed upon you in relationship. And I invite you to do the same.

You are not responsible for my happiness. It is not your job to “fix me”.

You have the opportunity to lead as a conscious man in this world. To demonstrate what it’s like to live with an open heart, as a humble leader with a mission.

And I believe in you.

~ Rising Woman ~

Sometimes I must share what I’ve read and how it touches my soul.

This does.

A few days ago, another woman made a post about how when a man leaves his cell phone on silent, and turned face down, and has to unlock it when he picks it up, it means he’s messing around. She didn’t know the man but had been observing him at a coffee shop. She was quick to jump all over his case by the way he had his cell phone.

I couldn’t just let it go.

“Maybe he’s deaf, maybe he’s a massage therapist, maybe he’s a First Responder and knows what happens when a phone lands in the wrong hands.

She got her panties twisted… “That’s the way most men are.”

Bullshit.

I love men.

My best friends are men.

I’m married to a man.

I have three grown ass sons that are good men.

I know they are not perfect but neither am I or any other women out there.

When I need a real friend, it’s my guys that come.. when I’m working late, it’s my guy friends that check on me, when I’m at the gym, it’s the guys that stop by and talk to me.

Most of my clients are guys.

I realized the reason why.

I make them comfortable. They can be vulnerable and strong. They can be silent or talk to me. They can fall asleep and know they are safe.

I hold space and I hold hands. I hold secrets and I hold their regrets. I hold on when they are falling apart and I hold back the demons when they feeling attacked and alone.

I’m a man lover. I will not let men be trashed or painted with broad brushes.

I will take them as they are and make them into what they want to be.

I’m gonna stand by my man…. Every single one of them.

And that’s all I got to say about that.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

6 22 a.m. 12.18.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Categories
Uncategorized

Bad Romance

Two weeks ago, I had a new client finally come in to see me.

We had interacted on social media for months and I knew he was following me on my posts on Facebook and Instagram.

This is how it is with First Responders and Veterans. They take their time, learning about who I am and what I do before they come into my place and receive bodywork.

It takes time. It takes trust. It doesn’t happen overnight. It can’t be rushed.

I know this and I just let it come when it does. I open the door to communicate and I let them gaze at the door as long as it takes before they walk across the threshold and into my space.

And I’m ready when they do.

Most of the time.

I’m not always prepared, though, for everything that happens.

You see, while I have the door open so I can gain their trust, something else happens.

I become known. I become seen. I become vulnerable. I get touched in all kinds of ways.

And sometimes it reminds me of who I was and who I need to be.

Days after his session, my client sends me this video with the comment,”The girl on the right reminds me of you.”

I clicked it.

I was transfixed.

It was like looking in the mirror, seeing myself again.

Me.

The girl I was. The woman I am.

Tears ran down my face.

I watched it again and again.

The hair.

The dress.

The color.

Everything.

I got home and walked into my closet.

I have a dress almost exactly like that, still.

I turned on the music, really, really loud.

I begin to dance.

Again.

I caught my reflection in the mirror.

I was smiling.

The big, real, genuine Jack O’Lantern smile that Mema always said gave me away.

“Gave me away.”

That’s what it is… Some things just give you away, give away your passions, your pleasures, your so-called “buttons” that only people that take the time to watch and see, listen and learn, find out about you.

It’s a romance in many ways.

I know that it’s a give and take, to give fully, one must be willing to receive fully, too.

An open door goes both ways.. One can come in and one can go out.

One can see inside and one can be seen from outside.

I know my client doesn’t realize the gift he gave me when he sent the video.

It is a gift, though, in a very beautiful way.

He reminded me of what one of my heart desires is, of something I had pushed way back and let go of.

I needed this reminder so very much.

It made me stop and think and write down what I wanted and needed in my life.

To be known and loved.

To know and love.

To dance on the edge.

To dance again.

To open doors.

To come back.

To go forward.

Bad romances and all.

To be the woman in the dress, dancing my heart out.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

938 a.m. 11.26.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Categories
AVA Daily Prompt Jeanna' Soul

Soul Speak (Opened door again)

S O U L S P E A K

Whispered
Art
Falling
On A World
Of Deaf Ears

Drenched
With
Emotion

Igniting
A
Spark

A
Dying
Language
Always
On The Brink
Of Extinction

Seducing
With
Beauty
That
Conceals
The
Razor
Of
Truth

My
Soul
Speaks
In
Empathy’s
Quiet
Untrembling
Voice

Elusive
And
In-Direct

A
Masochistic
Endeavor
Revealing
The
Gentlest
Form
Of
Human
Courage

Invisible
Footprints
No Mountain
Can Erode

Soothing
Our
Wounds

Making
Our
Scars
More
Beautiful…

-randini-

What can I say

My deaf ears heard

So many things

When the soul would speak

I sat captived

Eyes unwavering

Lips formed words

Pierced my heart

Broke it into a million pieces

Just as I asked

Long ago

Be careful

So I was told

What you ask for

You just might get

I wanted a broken heart

And a soul on fire

Filled to the brim and beyond

With invisible footprints

Left by all those

That walked in

Made themselves at home

Carved their names

Into the walls of me

And filled me with the courage I needed

To see the beauty

In all the scars

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

707 a.m 9.18.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Categories
Uncategorized

Safe Words

When it is time

To step inside

Shut the door

Do what must be done

I won’t bite my tongue

Clench my fist

Hold tight for what might happen

Keep the door cracked

Just a little

Because everything

Every little thing

Is gonna be alright

Hard to explain

How the past

Tries to break in

Cause some trouble

Raise some hell

Bring me back down

Where I don’t ever want to go again

When I think it’s all over

Locked safely away

It comes out

Tries to shatter my peace

But not now

Not anymore

I will whisper

The safe words

That have been engraved

Upon my heart

Etched into my skin

Worn upon my arm

Placed all over my walls

The words that keep me

Strong and fierce

Hunkydory

Fearless

Full of joy

Living my life

Falling in love

Dancing in the dark

Riding the waves

Flying free

Feeling with both hands

Reading chapter and verse

Making big plans

Giant steps

Leaps of faith

Dreaming big

Finding magic

In secret places

Discovering treasures

Hidden away

Now when I step inside

I’ll close the door

Delight in all I see

Do what I came for

Linger just a little longer

In this safe place

With all the words

I need.

👣♥️

Jeanna’ Mead

643a.m 8.23.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

When I decided to make the move to the Cade house, it was because of several signs that made me know it was meant to be.

One thing set me off, though, and my mind went straight down a path I didn’t want to go.

The commode closet is 4 feet wide by 4.5 feet deep with 10 feet ceilings. With white walls and white door, it was cold and inviting but more than that, it made me feel trapped. I had visions of someone turning off the lights, since the switch was outside the door, and placing a chair against the door knob so I couldn’t get out.

I shared this with a few people and they all laughed and assured me that no one would do that.

I was not convinced.

Every time I had to use the restroom,I would lock the door to the big room and leave the commode closet door open.

I couldn’t ease my mind.

Maybe it was irrational but it was my way of fighting my demons.

Then Tuesday my aunt Judy, and her daughter, Brandi and Brandi’s daughter, Mandana came into my new massage studio, carried bags and bags of treasures up the stairs and created a beautiful, sacred and safe place that bought me to squeals of pure joy and tears of happiness.

They spent the entire day and evening arranging and placing things perfectly, taking my gifts from clients and friends and putting them where I can see them and feel the love. They found paintings and pictures, pillows and silk scarves, baskets and wooden bowls, books and rocks and mixed the old with new.

Thift store finds mingled with handcrafted pieces from Europe.

Mexican shakers nestled in a bird cage.

Mirrors reflected pictures that had been painted of me that had been taken on days that I always remember as days that I felt known and loved.

A beautiful cut rock was placed next to a pitcher. They had no idea that the pitcher was a gift from a woman when I first opened my 203 Fannin location. Every time I look at that pitcher, I’m reminded of her gracious spirit.

Up on the fireplace ledge, was a little jade bird… It reminded me immediately of the song my Mema loved to sing.

“One, two, three like a bird I sing

Cause you’ve given me

The most beautiful set of wings”

It also reminded me that God has placed each person in my life for reasons and that there I am to love and live like an uncaged bird.

All these things, all the details in my massage room and even my closet meant so much but the biggest surprise was what they did to the commode closet.

They had blindfolded me… Something that took a level of trust in itself. Being unable to hear and unable to see is a step of faith for me.

They sat me down on the white throne and took off the blindfold and, just like that, my demon was slayed by the words and the art and the pictures that covered that 4 feet by 4.5 feet by 10 foot high commode closet.

Words of strength.

Words of faith.

Words that made me laugh.

Paintings by friends.

Pictures from my original studio.

Treasures from stores.

I could sit there and feel safe.

Known and loved.

They thought they were only decorating my place for me.

They did that, too.

But they really gave me the most beautiful set of wings.

They made this place safe and sacred.

They gave me what my soul needed, what I longed for, what I tried so hard to trust my Intuition for.

They took the words I had spoken and believed it mattered.

This is a gift beyond measure.

Known and loved.

I can fly.

Unafraid.

Thank you.

Thank you.