Deaf and Blind

I’ll just come right out and say it as clear as I can.  

I’m deaf and blind.

I was told, “Jeanna’,don’t be blinded.” because I disagreed with several women in a post about knowing the heart of another person.

Well, when well-meaning, holy rollers start quoting scripture and verse, claiming to know what the “real truth” is then I’m going to pull on my boots, walk away and let them think they had the last word.

But the truth is, I’m really just choosing to be deaf and blind.

Blind to the self-righteous accusations and finger-pointing. Blind to the veiled questions,the double standards,the hypocrisy that I see all too often.

I’m going to be deaf-really deaf to the words that slander and tear apart people, to the gossip disguised as prayers, to the nay-sayers that are so quick to point out another’s wrongs while sugar coating their own.

Lord, have mercy, I believe in those words written in red, especially those that command very clearly to “love one another as I have loved you.” and all those about how God created heaven and earth and all that is within it. 

I can’t quote scripture by chapter and verse and I’m impressed but not intimidated by those that can.  You see, God gives each of us different gifts- some get the gift of memorizing and others get the gift of touch, some people get the gift of vision and others the gift of understanding and so on and on.

Back before Christmas, I was listening to this preacher man and he pulled up this verse and i decided right then and there that verse was going to be my verse.

It’s Luke 2:19…and here it goes.

“Mary held these things in her heart and thought about them often.”

Well, there you go- clear and simple. “Held these things in her heart.”

That tells me that we can hold things in our hearts-without broadcasting on social media,without tattle-telling, without making a big scene and pushing our beliefs on others.

We can hold what really matters in our hearts and think about it often. We can hold the things we wrestle with and the things we pray about in our hearts. We can hold it, think about it and know that God in the heavens knows our hearts far better than we do.

We can choose to love more, to find the goodness in people, to seek out the beauty and radiance and to be deaf and blind to anything that takes away from that.

I can’t claim, like those women did, to know the heart of anyone else.  While they claimed that the woman they were jumping on didn’t KNOW God, all I could think was this- “God knows HER” and that’s the bottom line, only God knows what each of us holds in our hearts, only God knows how much we love,who we love and how we feel and that’s good enough for me.

I will hold these things in my  heart, and write the words that come tumbling out  and I know that I may be accused of being blind and deaf but I sure won’t be accused of not loving and in the end that’s all that’s necessary.

So I’ll leave you with a song that came to mind…take it away…..

https://open.spotify.com/track/1oxxjnha9ceWHO443oSVRk?si=HBtbrZdYRoKn-yjYvgMGnw

Happiness

Paulo Coelho-  “Happiness is getting rid of the unnecessary”

I find such wisdom in this sentence..such freedom in a few well chosen words and such a desire to follow through on it.

Happiness is indeed getting ride of the unnecessary.  I look in my closet- clothes I don’t love, shoes I never wear and I put them into a bag to give away.

I open the cabinet drawers and take out anything that’s cracked or chipped and I toss it.

Over the next few days before the beginning of the New Year, I’m going to clear the closets, the drawers, the cabinets of anything that is no longer beautiful to me, useful to me, or good for me.

I want to open things and see only what is good and purposeful, nothing that is half broken but serviceable, nothing that is just “okay” but not “good”.

I’m also doing a spiritual journey…seeking out the people and places that belong in my life and letting go of those that don’t.

Maybe they did once upon a time, but not now…maybe they will once again, but not now.

This isn’t easy, but I’ve realized that I know my body and my soul so very well and when I listen, and pay attention, it whispers to me, “Let go. Go on. Speak up. Hold on. Lean forward. Step out. Slow down. Pay attention.”

Part of this impacts others and sometimes it’s hard to stand up for what my heart tells me but the time has come..it always had been there, but it’s clear to me now that I can and should make these choices and seek the happiness that comes from doing what’s necessary and good.

Letting go of what’s unnecessary frees up room in my closet, in my cabinets and, most of all, in my heart for all that really is necessary.

Glow

If only I could see me

the way you see me

everything would be different
I keep the lights on

because the darkness

hides your lips

and I can’t, 

for the life of me,

 understand a word you say
But the same light 

that lets me see

to read

shows everything 

I wish I could keep

hidden in the dark
You see my imperfections

the scars on my body

the way time hasn’t

always been so kind
it’s a double edged sword

a battle that I fight

day in and night out

trying so damn hard

to see beauty in the ages

embrace the changes

to keep on dancing

with all the broken pieces

to glow in the light

and not hide in the dark
I look in the mirror

remembering so well

when the reflection

showed a different woman

a different time
if I could only see me

the way you see me

everything would be

so different
I would look beyond

the imperfections 

straight to the heart

of the matter
and I just might be able

to glow in the dark

from the light in your eyes
💗Jeanna’ Mead

6 25 a.m. 12-10-17

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Music of Life

She looked at what it had to say

shaking her head

as she knew full well

the memories it would bring

of times gone by

heart to heart

kindred spirits

laughter shared

walks and talks 

early morning texts

late night replies

beautiful exchanges

some gone

others remain

choices made

that changed everything

and it’s all in the songs

lyrics she had never heard

bands she hadn’t known

the music plays on

and she dances

as she reads the words

feels the vibrations

does her work

vows to her heart

that she won’t be

anything less than

the brown eyed girl

in the song that plays

again and again

She’ll keep right on

living her life

being the Wild One

playing the songs

that take her down

the ragged edge 

of pleasure and pain

that the music brings

🎶 💗👣https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1E9KFFRpXPpB3U?si=49FL322MTFGXPRXI8AcrmA

Bites and Pieces