Deaf and Blind

I’ll just come right out and say it as clear as I can.  

I’m deaf and blind.

I was told, “Jeanna’,don’t be blinded.” because I disagreed with several women in a post about knowing the heart of another person.

Well, when well-meaning, holy rollers start quoting scripture and verse, claiming to know what the “real truth” is then I’m going to pull on my boots, walk away and let them think they had the last word.

But the truth is, I’m really just choosing to be deaf and blind.

Blind to the self-righteous accusations and finger-pointing. Blind to the veiled questions,the double standards,the hypocrisy that I see all too often.

I’m going to be deaf-really deaf to the words that slander and tear apart people, to the gossip disguised as prayers, to the nay-sayers that are so quick to point out another’s wrongs while sugar coating their own.

Lord, have mercy, I believe in those words written in red, especially those that command very clearly to “love one another as I have loved you.” and all those about how God created heaven and earth and all that is within it. 

I can’t quote scripture by chapter and verse and I’m impressed but not intimidated by those that can.  You see, God gives each of us different gifts- some get the gift of memorizing and others get the gift of touch, some people get the gift of vision and others the gift of understanding and so on and on.

Back before Christmas, I was listening to this preacher man and he pulled up this verse and i decided right then and there that verse was going to be my verse.

It’s Luke 2:19…and here it goes.

“Mary held these things in her heart and thought about them often.”

Well, there you go- clear and simple. “Held these things in her heart.”

That tells me that we can hold things in our hearts-without broadcasting on social media,without tattle-telling, without making a big scene and pushing our beliefs on others.

We can hold what really matters in our hearts and think about it often. We can hold the things we wrestle with and the things we pray about in our hearts. We can hold it, think about it and know that God in the heavens knows our hearts far better than we do.

We can choose to love more, to find the goodness in people, to seek out the beauty and radiance and to be deaf and blind to anything that takes away from that.

I can’t claim, like those women did, to know the heart of anyone else.  While they claimed that the woman they were jumping on didn’t KNOW God, all I could think was this- “God knows HER” and that’s the bottom line, only God knows what each of us holds in our hearts, only God knows how much we love,who we love and how we feel and that’s good enough for me.

I will hold these things in my  heart, and write the words that come tumbling out  and I know that I may be accused of being blind and deaf but I sure won’t be accused of not loving and in the end that’s all that’s necessary.

So I’ll leave you with a song that came to mind…take it away…..

https://open.spotify.com/track/1oxxjnha9ceWHO443oSVRk?si=HBtbrZdYRoKn-yjYvgMGnw

Glow

If only I could see me

the way you see me

everything would be different
I keep the lights on

because the darkness

hides your lips

and I can’t, 

for the life of me,

 understand a word you say
But the same light 

that lets me see

to read

shows everything 

I wish I could keep

hidden in the dark
You see my imperfections

the scars on my body

the way time hasn’t

always been so kind
it’s a double edged sword

a battle that I fight

day in and night out

trying so damn hard

to see beauty in the ages

embrace the changes

to keep on dancing

with all the broken pieces

to glow in the light

and not hide in the dark
I look in the mirror

remembering so well

when the reflection

showed a different woman

a different time
if I could only see me

the way you see me

everything would be

so different
I would look beyond

the imperfections 

straight to the heart

of the matter
and I just might be able

to glow in the dark

from the light in your eyes
💗Jeanna’ Mead

6 25 a.m. 12-10-17

http://www.jeannasoul.com

Music of Life

She looked at what it had to say

shaking her head

as she knew full well

the memories it would bring

of times gone by

heart to heart

kindred spirits

laughter shared

walks and talks 

early morning texts

late night replies

beautiful exchanges

some gone

others remain

choices made

that changed everything

and it’s all in the songs

lyrics she had never heard

bands she hadn’t known

the music plays on

and she dances

as she reads the words

feels the vibrations

does her work

vows to her heart

that she won’t be

anything less than

the brown eyed girl

in the song that plays

again and again

She’ll keep right on

living her life

being the Wild One

playing the songs

that take her down

the ragged edge 

of pleasure and pain

that the music brings

🎶 💗👣https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1E9KFFRpXPpB3U?si=49FL322MTFGXPRXI8AcrmA

Feel Touched

Come sit down 

right here

beside me

Come on

hold my hand

walk with me

Come in

lean against me

feel my strength

and your own

Come by

wrap your arms

around me

dance with me

Come along

lay down

safe beneath these sheets

receive the touch

your body needs

and your soul craves

Come back

for another hug

a gentle touch

that gives you

just enough

to go on

and reach out

to invite someone else

to come 

come inside

come just as you are

come and be touched

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/d3gzba/the-life-of-the-skin-hungry-can-you-go-crazy-from-a-lack-of-touch?utm_campaign=sharebutton

💜As a massage therapist, I believe so strongly in the need for touch. I believe that if people received weekly therapeutic touch sessions, the world would be such a kinder place.  

Jesus modeled touch with compassion in such simple,beautiful, profound ways…No-one was “untouchable” or unreachable.

My Mema was the same way ….one of the best lessons she taught me was the simplest..the importance of touch.

There waa a homeless man that lived in the woods close to our home. Mema would often bring him meals from our home or, when she saw him out on cold mornings, she would get a cup of coffee and biscuits stuffed with sausage from the fast food restaurant on the corner….but the really important thing she did was more fulfilling than the food and drink.

Mema would hand him the food and hold his hands for a few minutes and meet his eyes. She would smile and talk to him as if he was a long lost friend.

She told me, “Jeanna’,look at his beautiful brown eyes…I imagine his momma just loved those brown eyes so much.”

Someone asked her once if she was afraid of getting germs from touching. “that dirty old homeless man” and, to this day, I remember her voice filled with anger as she replied, “I can always wash my hands and get the that kind of dirt off….but you can’t wash off an ugly heart!”

That just about says it all….

Touch someone today…and let yourself be touched,

THANKSGIVING WITH AVA

On November 20 of 2012, I wrote this because I’ve always been frustrated by gatherings because of my hearing loss.

AVA -The Audio Visual Accessibility app has changed this. I’ll be able to sit outside around the campfire and understand the stories. I’ll be able to participate in family board games without feeling like a burden. I’ll be part of life!

Do you even understand how grateful I am?
I’m sharing my journal posts again because sometime I need to remind myself..and others of what I’m thankful for
“I may not always understand every word you say, but I will always understand how you make me feel.  I may misunderstand your words sometimes, but I will never 

misunderstand your patience and  kindness.  I may need to stand closer than others do. but I do it so I can  understand you better… The way I look at you is on purpose.. so I can read your lips, see your expression and follow your body language -it is all part of the way I communicate.  Please, don’t insult me by saying ” never mind” if I ask you to repeat…and don’t give me the “readers digest” version of the story.   Please, let me turn the lights on, let me look at you.. choose a table where I can be part of things… or don’t ask me to come….  Look straight at me, get close, talk and I promise to listen with my full attention…  because that is what you deserve and what I do too.  .Just in time for Thanksgiving… this is for all those who make me feel valued.. and those that don’t..”