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Summer Falls

She just couldn’t believe

It was almost over

Summer became fall

And all the things she had hoped to do

She never had the chance

It seemed like everytime

She thought she might

The opportunity passed

So summer became fall

And she hadn’t swam at all

Or took the day

To treasure hunt

In flea markets and vintage shops

She didn’t get to pitch a tent

Or sleep beneath the stars

Margaritas on the beach

Weren’t on the list of things she did

As summer became fall

Instead she travelled

Down a familiar road

Into the depths of her own soul

She dreamed and she wrote

Gave the touch she longed to receive

She stood naked and alone

And made her peace

With the reflection she called her own

She discovered truth and strength

A courage she hadn’t always known

As summer became fall

She stopped expecting to be known

To be understood or seen

And realized that was going to be just fine anyway

It took too much time

Too much effort

And way too much insight

As summer became fall

So she looked wistfully

At her journal

With all the things she had planned

Marked “Summer of 18”

And crossed it out with red

She vowed to be ready

Her body and her soul

So that when spring became summer 2019

She’ll be more than ready

And all the pit-up chaos

The desires and plans

The moonlight strolls

Dark brown skin and turquoise bikinis

Margaritas on the beach

Camping by the streams

Card games and cook outs

On a patio

Will finally come true

The next time

Summer became fall

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 My Own Gifts

I celebrated my birthday on May 10 and it began another year of resolutions,of dreams and promises to myself, of written lists to check off and prayers waiting to be answered….books to read and words to write, places to go and people to see.

A few years ago I had decided that instead of a traditional New Year’s Eve start. I would begin my own New Year by starting on my birthday.

So this year I’ve vowed to give gifts…to myself and to others. 

I’m giving myself the gift of acceptance..of the woman I am now and the girl that I once was.  That means accepting my deafness and the way it’s shaped me and my relationships with others.  It means accepting my scars- those that can be seen and those that are invisible to the eye but felt with the heart. It also means accepting age and my body and the changes in my appearance. It means accepting a different standard of beauty and strength. It means that I’ll embrace self…my struggles, my sensuality, my deep spirit and bright light, my chaos, and the things that set me apart and I’ll find others that accept those without making me feel like something is wrong with me.

I’m also giving the gifts of forgiveness to myself and to others.  It may not be neatly packaged, tied with pretty ribbons and it may very well be a bit rumbled and worn, stained with tears but I’m handing it over with all the love I can. 

There’s another gift I’m going to give away graciously. I’m giving the precious irreplaceable gift of time.  My Mema used to say “Come sit down and spend some time with me.” and that’s exactly what I’m going to spend generously. Time  can not be replaced and that can never be repeated so I will choose to spend time with people, choose to make priorities, choose to live spontaneously, choose to “go and be”, instead of “wait and see”.

I have been writing on this chalkboard by my studio for weeks for everyone to see and reflect upon as they walk by.  It’s this simple sentence -“What do you want to be known for?”- but it carries so much weight and for this New Year of my life, I’ve pondered what I want to be known for.

 Love.

That’s it…..I want to be known for love…I want to give love so generously that people walk away feeling touched and known. I want to do what I love and love what I do.  I want to feel love- in the dirt between my toes, in the smiles on the faces, in the embraces received and given. 

I want to make love more this year of my life…more spur-of-the-moment dances, more time with my kindred spirits, more time with my family. More memories made with Love.

This means I’ll have to make sure I love myself enough to listen to my intuition, to use my voice, honor my body and soul, give myself the gift of love and live this New Year of my life beautifully.






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Inexpressible.

💗These aren’t my words but they are my thoughts and my hope.   I’ve only experienced the beauty of this a few times in my life.   and I’ve learned it’s easily lost, difficult to obtain and never forgotten….

I do hope that I give a sense of Inexpressible warmth and compassion..I so desire for people to feel drawn to me enough to trust me to come inside.

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Expecting Too Much

. Well. I guess it’s the truth

I go about my day

and I go about my life

Expecting too much

when I should have learned

 good and well by now

that I shouldn’t expect

all that much

I should not expect

my mind to be read

or the lights to always shine

just right

it’s probably way too much

to expect anyone

to read between the lines

catch the little nuances

tiny details

that show how well

one is known and loved

I shouldn’t expect

to receive back

what I always give

although it sure would

be nice

Maybe,just maybe

I really do expect

way too much

like work to be done

treasures to be found

an Americano to be handed to me

with a wink and a smile

of understanding

I expect flowers to bloom

as soon as I plant ’em

and the boots to fit

I expect sugar on toast

a hug and a kiss

Sweet talking

belly laughing

and grace to be extended

my way

I expect dates to be remembered

Things to be done

and promises to be made

I expect to be asked

to dance

to have a drink

to come on over

dive in and savor

 an invitation

I expect to miss out

struggle to understand

read lips

best as I can

I expect to find my way

carve out some space

turn the trash from another

into a treasure of my own

I expect to find beauty

where the ashes used to be

and I sure do see

what others expect from me

I expect way too much

and it’s just the way I am



👣💗Jeanna’ Mead

4 32 p.m. 4-7-18.

http://www.Jeannasoul.com

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 Dazzled and Reflective


I read a poem

the other day

sent to me by a far away friend

and the words etched themselves

into my heart

let me be dazzled, absolutely dazzled and then reflective

by the beauty of the things I see

the tiny fireflies lighting up my sky

the big brown eyes that twinkle

with sheer delight

even the blackberry thorns

that catch me by surprise

dazzle my ears

with the sweet sound of laughter

the rich voice of a man

that sings just for me to hear

the melody of the birds

way up in the trees

and the whispers I can feel

against my cheek

dazzle my heart

with the goodness I keep finding

scattered in the most unlikely places

love that crosses miles and reaches across boundaries

dazzle me with the way

things taste

chocolates melting on my tongue

the Americano in my cup

a well cooked meal

margaritas and wine

dazzle my senses

the calloused hand in mine

vibrations on an old wood floor

soft as silk baby skin

hugs so tight I almost can’t breathe

by the music’s rhythm

 that makes me move in unison

and the way I feel

when my hands glide down

someone else

finally be held

feel myself exhale 

at long last

let me be dazzled

and then reflective

just like the poem

that my far away friend sent

❤Jeanna’ Mead

7 03 a.m.  1-29-18

http://www.jeannasoul.com

For Joshua and Bubbie 💗👣

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Glow

If only I could see me

the way you see me

everything would be different
I keep the lights on

because the darkness

hides your lips

and I can’t, 

for the life of me,

 understand a word you say
But the same light 

that lets me see

to read

shows everything 

I wish I could keep

hidden in the dark
You see my imperfections

the scars on my body

the way time hasn’t

always been so kind
it’s a double edged sword

a battle that I fight

day in and night out

trying so damn hard

to see beauty in the ages

embrace the changes

to keep on dancing

with all the broken pieces

to glow in the light

and not hide in the dark
I look in the mirror

remembering so well

when the reflection

showed a different woman

a different time
if I could only see me

the way you see me

everything would be

so different
I would look beyond

the imperfections 

straight to the heart

of the matter
and I just might be able

to glow in the dark

from the light in your eyes
💗Jeanna’ Mead

6 25 a.m. 12-10-17

http://www.jeannasoul.com

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Music of Life

She looked at what it had to say

shaking her head

as she knew full well

the memories it would bring

of times gone by

heart to heart

kindred spirits

laughter shared

walks and talks 

early morning texts

late night replies

beautiful exchanges

some gone

others remain

choices made

that changed everything

and it’s all in the songs

lyrics she had never heard

bands she hadn’t known

the music plays on

and she dances

as she reads the words

feels the vibrations

does her work

vows to her heart

that she won’t be

anything less than

the brown eyed girl

in the song that plays

again and again

She’ll keep right on

living her life

being the Wild One

playing the songs

that take her down

the ragged edge 

of pleasure and pain

that the music brings

🎶 💗👣https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1E9KFFRpXPpB3U?si=49FL322MTFGXPRXI8AcrmA

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Body and Soul

Our body is our soul’s best friend.”-Paulo Coelho.

When I read these words, I immediately drew a heart in the margins next to the words and jotted down my thoughts. 

There is such profound truth held in these simple words and just yesterday, a friend and I shared some thoughts about this.

I had been invited to an event and instinctively, as I read about the event and what to do and bring, my stomach began to tighten and my stance changed.  I felt my body instinctively go into a protective mode- ready to “flee or fight.”

I tried to talk myself into accepting the invitation, but then realized that my body was truly my best friend and the reaction I was feeling was my body whispering to me.

My body knows when and how to protect my soul and I have learned to pay attention, to listen and to honor my body and my soul.

While I knew the opportunity to network and mingle would boost my business, I also know that I’m much better at small, intimate gatherings than at large social functions. 

 My deafness is actually a gift in many ways because I tend to place myself only in situations and with people in which I know I’ll be able to have some measure of control and to understand, to connect, to feel my best and be the best version of myself.

Now that I have the AVA -Audio Visual Accessibility-app I don’t worry about not hearing things like I used to. AVA doesn’t just give me the words that people say. it also gives me insight into others and to the relationships I have.

Many of my friends keep AVA installed and ready to use…but I’ve also ran into people that have told me that AVA is “too much trouble” and those that have made it perfectly clear that they would rather I didn’t use AVA.

When I go someplace, i consider the lightening.the ambiance, and the acoustics…I think about how I’ll stand,where I’ll sit, and who I’ll seek out and I also make sure AVA will work wherever I’m at.

In many ways, being hearing impaired  makes me more aware of my body and others. Since I can’t depend on what I hear, I depend on what I feel.

That’s the way I use my body to benefit my soul, to make sure I get the best chance and give the best I can to every situation.

That means listening to that small whisper from my body way before it becomes a moan of despair or scream of frustration and anger.

So I put aside this invitation and instead accepted better ones..an invitation to go out for a walk, to sit at a table for two with a bottle of wine,  to listen to music and dance and go out on a treasure hunt.

Those are the invitations that my body craves and my soul responses to with an excited “YES!”

I also believe that when we touch someone’s body, we reach their soul and that’s why,as a massage therapist, my touch is so mindful, compassionate and intuitive.

I want to always touch the body with knowledge of how far I am reaching…into a person’s soul..through muscles that hold memories, through skin that covers wounds and shows scars. I know that it’s never “just” a massage, but it’s a gift of trust,a step of faith when someone gets on my table.

 At least that’s how I see it and how I treat it. 

I hold another quote close to my heart. This one is also simple and profound.

“Only those that love your naked soul,should touch your naked body.”

In a time where people dive in and out of physical relationships without giving a second thought to how the soul feels about it, there is a sacred intimacy in the relationship that honors the soul first and the body knows it.

That’s why I’m taking care of my body- by listening to the way it lets me know who can touch me and who can’t. 

But I also listened to another clear message..the one telling me who I shouldn’t touch. 

 Recently I’ve came to understand that I can say “no” to touching some people, that if a person makes me feel uncomfortable, I do not have to allow them into my space, or on my table. I don’t have to accept everyone as a client just because they book a session with me.

This has not been easy, though. I had wrestled with the rationalization but the way I felt about approaching sessions was too strong to push aside.

I chose to do what my friend told me to do. I trusted my guts; embraced my strengths and worked around my weakness and felt my soul dance inside my body…you know, like best friends do when they are finally together, again. 

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Red Rover

“Red Rover, Red Rover”

She lays there

half awake and half asleep

long ago memories

pushing thru the haze

“Red Rover, Red Rover”

She stared at the row

of hands held tight

looking for the weakest link

to run to and break free

much to the surprise 

of those that doubted

 her might and strength

They only saw her size

bites and pieces 

of who she was

the label that they used
to try to describe

the girl they called

to break the line

“Red Rover, Red Rover”

She heard them call 

“Come over, Come over”

Spurred on by the doubts and the taunts

She ran as if her life depended on it

Broke the chains and the expectations

and suddenly she was in

standing in a row

lined up with the very same ones

that moments ago

spurred her on with doubts and taunts

“Red Rover, Red Rover”

Here she was

needed now 

She clasped the outstretched hands

and braced herself

dug her heels in

willed herself to have

more might and strength

Don’t let anyone think

she’s the weakest link

never let them break through

even if they knock her down

with doubts and taunts

she’ll surprise them all

that thought they knew

bites and pieces

of the girl they used a label

to describe

“Red Rover, Red Rover”

She sits up 

wide awake now

seeing clearly 

all the times 

she clasped hands

broke through the chains

the expectations

the labels

surprising herself and others

with her might and strength

and finding out

exactly what are the weakest links

and who is strong enough

to hold her hand

break free and be there

“Come over, Come Over”

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