Writing my heart out
💗These aren’t my words but they are my thoughts and my hope. I’ve only experienced the beauty of this a few times in my life. and I’ve learned it’s easily lost, difficult to obtain and never forgotten….
I do hope that I give a sense of Inexpressible warmth and compassion..I so desire for people to feel drawn to me enough to trust me to come inside.
She worn a red dress
that she had bought herself
with the boots that were bought
by someone else
that she had touched long ago
She worn red lipstick
left lip prints on wine glasses
coffee cups
and the cheeks of those she kissed
She worn a red scarlet letter
carved upon her heart
unseen but known
well and deep
She worn a red leather strap
tied and knotted
around the silver words
she always said
She worn red
one of the colours
she loved the best
There was just something
about the way
it seemed to match
the way she felt
Red hot and full of life
bursting out of the chaos
set apart
dancing to the rhythm
only she could feel
Week after week
on Sunday mornings
I show up
Walk right through the door
get another cup of coffee
and take a seat
down as close as I can be
just like I’m supposed to do
holding my head up high
holding AVA tight
None of the church ladies
and certainly not the men
have ever said a word
more than a half hearted “hello”
and I can’t quite figure out
the real reasons why
Maybe it’s because I can’t hear
maybe they just don’t care
maybe I’m not the type
they want around
Heaven knows
I sure don’t try
hard at all
But just this one time
a lady said,
” I like your bright pink scarf”
and I didn’t hear
because she stood
so far away
like most people tend to do
If it wasn’t for the man
that sits beside me
week after week
on Sunday mornings
I never would have known
Sometimes I just have
to stop and think
count my many blessings
know that God alone
knows everything
and loves me just the same
He knows this bright pink scarf
isn’t just fabric wrapped around my neck
it’s a gift from a kindred spirit
that always sits besides me
lip syncs lyrics
loves me just the way I am
and when I’m wearing
something I’ve been given
I’m wearing love and acceptance
and I feel it
down in my soul
like a kiss from heaven
little bit of lovin’
standing out and set apart
like my bright pink scarf
she got the news
long awaited
much desired
unbelievable
tears filled her eyes
rolled down her face
and she wrapped her arms
around herself
letting her heart believe
that all the things
that came to be
were finally going
to have a purpose
far beyond what she
used to believe
She felt the joy of the moment
the journey just beginning
all the times
she had doubted
that her words were worth
came down to the simple
invitation that said so much
such long awaited news
so desired
unbelievable
but true
anyways
​He asked me
why
I paused
holding him
breathing a whisper
in his ear
to relax
I met his eyes
and said
“There is purpose
in the pause
meaning in the rest
a sacred space
between this move
and that”
He shut his eyes
and let out a breath
I felt him
finally
give in and relax
We moved in unison
this man and I
a dance of our own
a pause in time
and we parted ways
far better than we came
all because we touched
and we paused.
Jeanna’ Mead
11-26-17. 11:23 a.m
http://www.jeannasoul.com
👣I read a post on DEEP MASSAGE written by David Lauterstein and the door was left open for my words to come in .
👣💗 Inspired by Paulo Coelho: “It is easy to be a hater. Go for the difficult task: be a lover.”
There’s a trick
she’s still learning
the hard way
But years ago, she wrote
a simple prayer in a poem
” Let my heart be broken
torn into pieces
bring me to my knees
Let my heart be open”
And now she sees
quite clearly
that she wouldn’t do it
any other way
she’ll still choose to love
when it’ll be easier to turn away
she’ll still treat others
as if she’ll be treated the same
she’ll still hold open
the doors and the invitation
although it’s been closed on her
many times before
She’ll still choose
to let her heart be broken
than to regret the chance
She’ll still go forward
though others hold back
It’s a trick
she’s learning
the hard way
But she can’t be any different
since she had asked.after all.
to let her heart be broken
torn into pieces
and filled up
patched well
etched and engraved
with love.
..
Jeanna’ Mead
11 01. 10/31/17
I always ask my clients what music they would like to listen to during their sessions.
Often they don’t have any preference, so I’ll play a Spotify soundtrack based on my previous week’s choices.
Since I can’t hear the music unless it’s really loud- much too loud for the relaxation of my clients- I rely on the lyrics app to show me that the music is indeed playing and filling the space with beautiful rhythm and words.
Sometimes I find myself dancing, my bare feet picking up the vibrations from the wood floor and the speaker and sometimes I’ll catch the words and almost gasp as the beauty and relevance hits home.
I’ll memorize the name of the song, holding it in my heart until the session is finished and then, I’ll send the link to those that I just know would love to hear that song..or perhaps they need to hear it.
One such song was “Known and Loved” https://open.spotify.com/track/1NLCMB3DAPXos7OYvNzrTf
I needed to hear this song…actually needed to read the lyrics over and over.
“Feels like you have lost yourself again
Sit in silence with a friend
when you are fully known and loved”
That is why my patio is so important to me. It’s where I go to sit in silence and to write and to read but it’s also where those that know me best, come to find me.
It’s where I get to fully know and be known and to give and receive love in deeper ways than I ever imagined from so many fabulously flawed, perfectly imperfect people but it’s also where I come to know myself to see myself as fully loved and known by the Creator, just the way I am-also perfectly imperfect and fabulously flawed just like my friends and clients are.
A client wrote a review on Google a couple of days ago that captured the essence of what I hope people feel.
“An amazing environment …warm and sincere welcome…leave your stresses..healing touch…looking forward to coming back”
i read this with tears in my eyes,a smile on my face and an ache in my heart that comes from feeling fully known and loved.
My intention is always to create such a space where people can sit in silence and be heard, where they can talk and listen, where they feel touch not only physically but spiritually,as well and where they feel as if I’m more than just their massage therapist but I’m also someone that truly cares and hopes that each person lives s life in which they are fully known and loved.
I’ll keep playing the music,reading the lyrics through blurry, teary eyes and welcoming the chances to know and love.
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You can leave a review, too…Goo.gl/D1UUhQ
and let others know what it’s like getting a massage with lyrics and tears.
Jeanna' Soul 
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