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Expecting Too Much

. Well. I guess it’s the truth

I go about my day

and I go about my life

Expecting too much

when I should have learned

 good and well by now

that I shouldn’t expect

all that much

I should not expect

my mind to be read

or the lights to always shine

just right

it’s probably way too much

to expect anyone

to read between the lines

catch the little nuances

tiny details

that show how well

one is known and loved

I shouldn’t expect

to receive back

what I always give

although it sure would

be nice

Maybe,just maybe

I really do expect

way too much

like work to be done

treasures to be found

an Americano to be handed to me

with a wink and a smile

of understanding

I expect flowers to bloom

as soon as I plant ’em

and the boots to fit

I expect sugar on toast

a hug and a kiss

Sweet talking

belly laughing

and grace to be extended

my way

I expect dates to be remembered

Things to be done

and promises to be made

I expect to be asked

to dance

to have a drink

to come on over

dive in and savor

 an invitation

I expect to miss out

struggle to understand

read lips

best as I can

I expect to find my way

carve out some space

turn the trash from another

into a treasure of my own

I expect to find beauty

where the ashes used to be

and I sure do see

what others expect from me

I expect way too much

and it’s just the way I am



👣💗Jeanna’ Mead

4 32 p.m. 4-7-18.

http://www.Jeannasoul.com

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Torn,Tattered Hearts 

The years haven’t erased

the sharpness of the pain

still brings tears to her eyes

and try as she might

there is a part of her

that can’t forget the day

the hearts were all

torn and tattered

shredded into pieces

marked with words

crossed out and underlined

that left her scarred

where no-one could ever see

she had held the box

decorated with such care

daring to hope against hope

though her intuition had known

All eyes were on her

almost taunting

she really should have waited

but she went on ahead anyway

 took a deep breath

opened up the box

and felt the bottom drop out

torn tattered hearts

words in black 

scratched out the “love”

mark “don’t” instead

broken candy bars

smashed into pieces

There was not much

 she could do

no saving grace

just too late

bite her  tongue

blinked her eyes

willed herself not to cry

slide that box underneath

the wooden desk

pray for strength

to pretend best as she could

until finally the bell rang

 And she escaped

threw away the box

 full of shame and hate

written on so many 

torn, tattered hearts

💔Jeanna 

10 54 a.m 2+12-17

http://www.jeannasoul.com

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 Dazzled and Reflective


I read a poem

the other day

sent to me by a far away friend

and the words etched themselves

into my heart

let me be dazzled, absolutely dazzled and then reflective

by the beauty of the things I see

the tiny fireflies lighting up my sky

the big brown eyes that twinkle

with sheer delight

even the blackberry thorns

that catch me by surprise

dazzle my ears

with the sweet sound of laughter

the rich voice of a man

that sings just for me to hear

the melody of the birds

way up in the trees

and the whispers I can feel

against my cheek

dazzle my heart

with the goodness I keep finding

scattered in the most unlikely places

love that crosses miles and reaches across boundaries

dazzle me with the way

things taste

chocolates melting on my tongue

the Americano in my cup

a well cooked meal

margaritas and wine

dazzle my senses

the calloused hand in mine

vibrations on an old wood floor

soft as silk baby skin

hugs so tight I almost can’t breathe

by the music’s rhythm

 that makes me move in unison

and the way I feel

when my hands glide down

someone else

finally be held

feel myself exhale 

at long last

let me be dazzled

and then reflective

just like the poem

that my far away friend sent

❤Jeanna’ Mead

7 03 a.m.  1-29-18

http://www.jeannasoul.com

For Joshua and Bubbie 💗👣

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writers with soul

Shock

It came as a shock

looking at the picture

she had no idea 

that she had let time

cast such a shadow over

the woman she once was

it was enough of a shock

to pull her out of the box

of regrets and mishaps

to begin all over again

with fierce resolve and determination

to conquer the past

shock herself

and everyone else

by becoming the woman

she wanted to be in the pictures

💗Jeanna’ Mead

8 21 a.m.  1-17-17

http://www.jeannasoul.com


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Feel Touched

Come sit down 

right here

beside me

Come on

hold my hand

walk with me

Come in

lean against me

feel my strength

and your own

Come by

wrap your arms

around me

dance with me

Come along

lay down

safe beneath these sheets

receive the touch

your body needs

and your soul craves

Come back

for another hug

a gentle touch

that gives you

just enough

to go on

and reach out

to invite someone else

to come 

come inside

come just as you are

come and be touched

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/d3gzba/the-life-of-the-skin-hungry-can-you-go-crazy-from-a-lack-of-touch?utm_campaign=sharebutton

💜As a massage therapist, I believe so strongly in the need for touch. I believe that if people received weekly therapeutic touch sessions, the world would be such a kinder place.  

Jesus modeled touch with compassion in such simple,beautiful, profound ways…No-one was “untouchable” or unreachable.

My Mema was the same way ….one of the best lessons she taught me was the simplest..the importance of touch.

There waa a homeless man that lived in the woods close to our home. Mema would often bring him meals from our home or, when she saw him out on cold mornings, she would get a cup of coffee and biscuits stuffed with sausage from the fast food restaurant on the corner….but the really important thing she did was more fulfilling than the food and drink.

Mema would hand him the food and hold his hands for a few minutes and meet his eyes. She would smile and talk to him as if he was a long lost friend.

She told me, “Jeanna’,look at his beautiful brown eyes…I imagine his momma just loved those brown eyes so much.”

Someone asked her once if she was afraid of getting germs from touching. “that dirty old homeless man” and, to this day, I remember her voice filled with anger as she replied, “I can always wash my hands and get the that kind of dirt off….but you can’t wash off an ugly heart!”

That just about says it all….

Touch someone today…and let yourself be touched,

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THANKSGIVING WITH AVA

On November 20 of 2012, I wrote this because I’ve always been frustrated by gatherings because of my hearing loss.

AVA -The Audio Visual Accessibility app has changed this. I’ll be able to sit outside around the campfire and understand the stories. I’ll be able to participate in family board games without feeling like a burden. I’ll be part of life!

Do you even understand how grateful I am?
I’m sharing my journal posts again because sometime I need to remind myself..and others of what I’m thankful for
“I may not always understand every word you say, but I will always understand how you make me feel.  I may misunderstand your words sometimes, but I will never 

misunderstand your patience and  kindness.  I may need to stand closer than others do. but I do it so I can  understand you better… The way I look at you is on purpose.. so I can read your lips, see your expression and follow your body language -it is all part of the way I communicate.  Please, don’t insult me by saying ” never mind” if I ask you to repeat…and don’t give me the “readers digest” version of the story.   Please, let me turn the lights on, let me look at you.. choose a table where I can be part of things… or don’t ask me to come….  Look straight at me, get close, talk and I promise to listen with my full attention…  because that is what you deserve and what I do too.  .Just in time for Thanksgiving… this is for all those who make me feel valued.. and those that don’t..”

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