When I read the post from Tiffany L Tyner about her mom’s experience with AT&T, in which her mom was mocked by a manager during a call because of her speech problems after a stroke, it hit so close to my heart that I have thought about it so much and the only way I process things is to write my heart out.

I relate to what happened as as a mom and a daughter and as a woman that speaks a little bit different.

I’m half deaf which created some speech issues that I was really able to kind of mask with a Texan accent.
I spent my childhood with my Mema pressing my fingers against her vocal chords to teach me awareness of how sound felt and what different words felt like. I also had to keep my other hand on my own throat as I learned the speech patterns and the feel of sounds vibrating.

It is the reason I spoke so clearly and could imitate other people’s accents and speech patterns even though my hearing was compromised.

My Mema was an incredibly wise woman who intuitively knew how to use body language to make me understand both myself and others.

I had been able to sashay through life almost with very little issues with talking and being understood.
It became a game in a way when strangers would hear me talking and come up to ask what country I was from, my nationality, and so on. I used to simply laugh along with them and let them think I was from whatever exotic country they mentioned…. Partly because no one ever believed me when I would say,” This is what a half deaf Native Texan woman sounds like.”

But I’m not the only one that is half deaf and when my son was a teenager he wrestled with his speech and it took a good, long time for him to come to grips with feeling the sounds and saying them just right. His hearing loss was much more profound than mine until he got his cochlear implants which changed everything for him.

I will never forget back when Texas Roast was on Ridge Road and my son went to the barista to order coffee.

The barista was a teenager probably 17/18 years old and has my son ordered, he mocked him, exaggerating, my son‘s lisp, and asking him to repeat himself over and over while laughing and smirking at him.

My husband started to go up to the counter when the owner, Jeff, caught his eye and motioned that he would handle this.

He had just walked in through the back door and witnessed everything the barista was doing while my son stood there, embarrassed and frustrated but not giving up.

Jeff stepped forward, told the barista to get out of his shop and proceeded to make my son his coffee while apologizing for the behavior of his just-fired employee.

We never really know who is watching or listening to us when we act ugly or, for that matter, when we act like we should- with compassion, patience, and understanding.

That’s one of the reasons I have the quote “ People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will always remember how you made them feel,” by Maya Angelou written on a chalk board at my studio because I hope every person reads those words- like they read these I’m writing now- and take them to heart.

Now I’m at a different stage of my life and empathize even more with Tiffany’s mom. Four years ago, I caught Covid and it attacked my central nervous system like a bull on a rampage.
My lips went numb which affected my speech, my left knee lost function and my vision was impacted.
I’ve spent the last four years fighting like crazy to reclaim my body, my speech and my vision and you know what?

I’ve experienced some heart wenching incidents like the people that look at me like I’m an idiot because I mispronounced a word or two, the woman that pushed me because I didn’t hear her coming and move quickly enough, the people that look through me as if I’m invisible and completely ignore me.
There’s been those that look at me with pity and shake their heads and walk away.. and I let them.

I let them because they are the ones I pity, they are the ones that just don’t get it and they get to look at the mirror and ask themselves,
“Now why did I have to act so ugly again?!”

They don’t know me. Just like that manager doesn’t know Tiffany or her momma. ( I don’t, neither, but she inspired this story)

In the past I would have gotten all riled up, trying to prove I was smart enough, strong enough, capable enough and all that jazz . I would have felt the desire to “show them” and “ prove them wrong” but instead I’ve learned not to let other people’s lack of understanding and compassion get under my skin like it used to.

What i do now is write my heart out, let others know of the good people and good places and let God handle everything else.

And you know what?

He does in ways that blow my mind like opening the door to conversations about how people can be more aware, like placing incredible people in place that step up and take care of the situation, like giving others hope and encouragement through their challenging seasons.

I’ve ran into far, far more good, kind people since all this happened. There’s people that have stepped up to support my business just because they know I’m fighting to be healed, there’s others that come to me saying “ I have a hearing loss and I don’t know what to do,” and there’s people that step up and repeat for me so I don’t miss out on anything.

I believe that when people know better, they will do better…. and that’s my hope for the manager at AT&T and for all of us.

There’s another thought- we never know if it could be our turn and we are the one trying to pronounce a word that used to just roll off our tongues, holding on for dear life to take a step without falling, learning to dance all over again….

It could be you, it could be somebody you love, it could be me.

Please think about It.
We really can do better.
Walk with Love,
Jeanna’ Mead