A local love coach, Rogue Pence, posted on her Facebook wall that women have a problem receiving and she hit the nail square on the head.
I know it’s true in my life and I know exactly why.
It seems like every thing I receive comes with strings attached.
“I’ll give you this, then you’ll do that.”
“I’ll go there for you, but I expect you to come to this for me.”
“I want to do this, but you need to do that.“
I don’t like feeling obligated and I don’t like feeling as if everything is a trade out, with checks and balances and a large negative-positive column.
I pull back.
I build up walls.
I go through the all the motions.
Put on a facade.
Present in the body, absent in the spirit.
I am a master at separating my mind from my body, and my heart too.
I’ve pretended for so long that I have almost fooled myself.
I don’t receive.
I give bits and pieces of myself..until I feel as if I’m torn into pieces, scattered around, tossed by the winds of my emotions.
And it’s my own damn fault.
I know better.
So I decided to take a good,hard look at myself.
Deep down, deep inside, bottom of my heart.
I found clues.
I have a hard time receiving anything when I have given clear clues to what I want and need and those clues are ignored.
It’s not just clues. It’s plain and simple instructions.
To know how to give what I’ll receive can be found by reading.
Unless all those things are read, book marked, underlined, and pondered…taken into account..well, let’s just say…
I won’t be able to receive what’s offered. I have a hard time receiving from anyone that doesn’t read what’s right in front of their eyes, in plain sight.
It’s like I’ve left the door unlocked,slightly ajar and no-one shows up.
An unopened invitation.
Receiving is a true gift.
It’s an intimate exchange.
A desire to connect and fulfill a need,an expectation, a void.
It’s the little things.
The big things,too.
I’m a giver by nature.
I put a lot of thought into the gifts I give. I write notes and mail to people. I leave little gifts in random places to be found. I see things that make me think of someone I love and I buy it- just because. I don’t wait for “special” occasions.
I touch. I massage. I embrace. I give this, naturally.
That’s part of what I discovered during my deep soul search..
I expect to receive the way I give.
I set the bar high and then I’m bewildered and disappointed.
I shouldn’t be.
Instead I really should consider this a gift that I’m overlooking..that if I’m not receiving, maybe it’s because I’m asking to be given to by people that just aren’t natural givers, or that have no intentions to give.
People that don’t take the time to read.
I do have a receiving problem. I admit it.
I can not receive much when I have given gifts that are still waiting unwrapped,unopened, unread.
It’s a gift.
The essence of femininity is to be able to receive…and to know your own body,mind,and soul so well that you give yourself permission and grace to give and receive when you and how you want from those that want you to receive as much as you’ve given.
Think about it. I did.
👣💗 Jeanna’ Mead
8 07 a.m 1-21-19