Bigger and Better

I’m going to share this right here because I,too, fell into the trap of “ bigger and more”

I originally started my business.@ Rockwall Body and Soul Massage because I felt trapped where I was… not because I didn’t love Susan Gamez Balderas but because business was growing and my heart missed the intimacy that was formed when it was just me and Susan and one other therapist…as it grew bigger with more therapists and more personalities and more drama, I would stand in the front of my windows and watch the cars go by on Ridge Road and wish I was going someplace- any place.
The more people in the little house, the less I heard and the less I felt known and loved and needed.

I left and went solo and it was lonely at times but I could also write poetry and letters and send clients handwritten cards. I would bake cookies and muffins and sit outside with clients enjoying those things with a glass of wine.

Then Laura Bjeles came into my studio and instantly we connected and I felt an intimacy with another therapist that I hadn’t felt in so very long.

I was her mentor in the beginning but in many ways she was mine…as I taught her what I knew, she taught me to let my wall down and trust the moment again.

Then I got cocky- there’s really no other word for it- I hired another therapist and we had to juggle rooms and time and although it was good, it was also stressful.

We moved into a bigger place and I had three rooms and three therapists and that worked out for awhile and then I began my “ learning experiences”

One therapist lasted 3 weeks before I told her not to come back.

Then there was constant drama from the other one-bringing on stress to the point where I was checking her schedule and making sure to walk out of my room when I wouldn’t run into her.

I felt trapped by my choices and in the place where I couldn’t just step out of my room onto the porch .

But still I continued the same path- believing bigger was better-and I hired another therapist which added more personalities and more drama and more stress.

And then I got Covid-bad- and while I couldn’t do a damn thing at my studio, Laura pulled on her boots and took over for me.

The intimacy and trust we had formed was such a blessing. I had no choice but to let go and let God and He made sure Laura had what she needed and Kateley Lyons stepped up even more to keep the books filled and things done.

“Be still, woman” was what I felt God telling me…. And I wrestled with Him until I realized He was right.

In my pursuit of “bigger and better” I had lost what really set my soul on fire- intimacy With family, with friends, with clients.

I had traded time with those I loved, To time spent trying to grow my business- I networked and joined things that made me feel trapped and sapped my energy and my passion.
I hustled and posted on every social media platform and I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off.

That had never been my intention and I believe that’s a reason I got so sick and so weak.
I was just plain worn out trying to be who I wasn’t naturally.

during the hardest days, my old people came back- giving me love, giving me strength and giving me grace again.

Susan of EveryBody Massage Rockwall pulled me out of the house, outside on a massage table because she knew me well enough to know that I needed the sun and fresh air as much as I needed her touch and knowledge.
And as I’ve recovered- five steps forward and three steps back- over the last year, I’ve learned some profound truths.

Bigger isn’t always better.

Time is precious and sacred.

Love is essential.

Always, we begin again.

After another very short try with one other therapist, Laura and I leaned against each other and decided we will go back to the beginning- just the two of us.

There’s beauty in this chaotic world that we see best when there’s only us- we dance so good together and it shows.
While we can’t accommodate the vast number of clients we could when there was more of us, we are able to give the clients we do see our full attention and show them how important they are to us.

We get to create an intimate bond with our family, our friends and our clients.

We aren’t trapped anymore.

God is making a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert and I’m learning to become who He’s created me to be.

A boat was docked in a tiny Calabrian fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and… asked how long it took to catch them.

“Not very long” they answered in unison.

“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“We chat in the piazza with friends, fish a little, play with our children, and enjoy time with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.

We have a full life.”

The tourist interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?”

“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.

Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Milan, London, Los Angeles, or even New York City!!! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”

“How long would that take?”

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, play with your children, catch a few fish, enjoy time with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

“With all due respect sir, but that’s exactly what we are doing now. So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Italians.

And the moral of this story is:
Know where you’re going in life, you may already be there! Many times in life, money is not everything.

“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”
Credit: Unknown