I was given two books recently and the precious gift of time when my cousin invited me to use his pool whenever I felt like it.
Felt like it.
I had always felt like jumping in my car and driving to the pool but I hadn’t… Not in years and years.
I kept waiting.
For the right time.
To be in better shape.
For the stars to align.
To have everything I needed.
That is was okay with everyone else.. What ever was I thinking?
I made excuses instead of reasons.
I didn’t go swimming.
I didn’t get wet.
I was a cotton picking damn hard headed fool.
I have this one wild and precious life and I’ve been wasting it.
Such a shame.
Paulo writes in By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept that “Joy is sometimes a blessing but it is often a conquest.”
Isn’t that the truth?
There’s magic moments in the ordinary if only we acknowledge them.
Capture.
Conquest.
Celebrate.
Dorothy Parker in The Lovely Leave wrote, “To keep something you must take care of it.”
Keep.
Take care.
I felt as if I had been hit by a 2 by 4.
I have not been taking care of myself.
I have not been true to my body, my spirit, my mind.
I’ve neglected all three.
That’s why these gifts I received mattered so much.
I read the words. Underlined them. Added my thoughts in the margins.
I promised myself to say “YES” when I wanted and, just as importantly, “NO” when I didn’t.
My body wasn’t perfect when I put on my bikini but I didn’t give a hoot.
I jumped in and I conquered joy.
I ordered two books for myself that had been on my “wish list” for months.
I bought treasures with money I was surprised with and with money I had earned giving other people what I love receiving.
I reclaimed my space. Putting my touches back where they belong.
I took care of what mattered to me.
I’m taking care.
Finding joy.
Making the most of my one wild and precious life just as the great poet Mary Oliver asked.
I’m being the goofball my cousin knows and loves.
That others love.
And it just feels right.
I learn so many beautiful lessons when I’m at the pool with Paulo and Parker.
I think I’ll go again real soon.
👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead
6 59 a.m 6.24.19
Jeanna' Soul 