Time To Quit

“You need to quit writing lists and poems about what you are going to do and start writing about things you’ve done.”-Kettle 11.30.19

It takes a real friend

That’s been around

Long enough to know

All the stories of your soul

It takes a long time

To get underneath the skin

Pull back the mask

And find out who you are within

It takes a special bond

It speak the truth

To raise the bar

Tell it like is

And I swear that I’m so glad

I’ve got that kind of friend

“This past week, I’ve had lots of time to think. Several things keep coming up … the simple realization of what stirs my soul, what I need and want in my life.
Sometimes I’m just not sure where to begin but I know I want to take the next steps.
I want to learn more-about different massage techniques, about different dance styles, about nutrition and wellness, about writing and understanding.
I want to surround myself with positive people, with great music, with interesting books, with creativity and wonderful food and drinks.
I want to discuss literature, philosophy, energy, beauty, and the fine art of living well and loving much.
I want to work with my hands and feet and my soul..using therapeutic massage to touch as many as possible…..I want my studio to be a sanctuary,a safe place to recharge, release, relax, and be still.
I want to take trips and discover things outside my comfort zone.
I want to give my children roots and wings,encouragement and security….and spoil my granddaughter rotten!
I want to open my home, my heart and my arms to possibilities.
I want to train so hard that I never again say “no” when I really want to say “YES!” I want to be ready for adventure, for a dance, for an escape, for a lesson, for a simple trip, for the beach, for anything and everything that strikes my fancy.

I want to live up to this word !” Pot-11-30-2013

Six years ago, I had written the above statement in my journal.

I haven’t done right by my soul or my body.. and this list has been neglected in ways I hate to admit to myself.

I haven’t opened my home up at all…. The last few years have been a struggle that I have wrestled with… Keeping my home, keeping my peace, keeping my marriage and my family intact has taken much more time that I thought.

It’s been a roller coaster and I haven’t had any of the gatherings or parties that I’ve wanted to.

But I have learned new modalities and I have created a sacred space for bodywork… One so beautiful and peaceful that I often stay there overnight myself.

Clients have became friends and my soul dances within my body when I’m there.

I haven’t traveled…and that really bothers me.

Other than driving into Oklahoma to the horse ranch, and to Austin for classes, I haven’t gone anywhere.

That’s a crying shame.

It’s inexcusable.

I have started and stopped so many workout programs… Putting off my own body to care for others, and in doing so, I’ve became less of myself.

I’m not as strong as I was.

I’m not as confident that I can do things I love.

I hesitate before I leap.

I second guess before I strap on my heels or take off my knee wrap.

I look in the mirror and wonder what happened.

I KNOW what happened.

I let it happen.

I wrote poems and lists of what I wanted instead of actually doing it.

Damn fool I am.

My friend reminded me. Straight shooter just like I am.

He’s going to hold me accountable. I know he will and he’ll be checking things off that list and reading poems about what I’ve done and where I’ve been and I’m going to do the same for him.

It’s time to quit writing and start living.

👣♥️ Jeanna’ Mead

12.1.19

http://www.jeannasoul.com

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