Washing My Face

“God gave you gifts and strengths so that you could accomplish his plan. And while you may meet resistance as you look to use those gifts, you are not alone in your struggle.

Working women sometimes have to fight their way through patriarchal systems. Working mothers get backlash from in-laws or parents who can’t understand our desire to work, while stay-at-home

moms slam us for being away from our children. I’ll bet stay-at-home moms feel similarly judged by working women who can’t relate to their life choices. It’s as though we’re all children on a playground trying to say whatever others want to hear; trying to hide all the parts that others might not understand. It makes me wonder how many women are walking around living into half their personality and in doing so, denying who their creator made them to be.

Do you really think God made you—uniquely, wonderful you—in hopes you would deny your true self because it might be off-putting to others? I can’t believe that’s true. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I believe that God made me this way. He knew I would have a worker’s heart, and he knew I would want to build big dreams. In the same way, he knew another one of his children was meant to stay home and raise her beautiful babies while another daughter of his wouldn’t want to have kids at all.

Have you spent a lifetime muting yourself for fear of what others will think? Are you an entrepreneur who calls your business a hobby because you worry about what your mother-in-law will say or because it’s safer to keep everyone’s expectations low? Are you hesitating to go back to school because you think you’re not smart enough? Do you stop yourself from daring to try something new because you’re already positive you’ll fail? Do you remain silent when you have so much to say? Do you believe you’ll never do better or be better than you are right now because of your family of origin? Do you hesitate to admit your dreams aloud because you’re nervous about others making fun of you or judging you for your choices?

I believe that you are not a mistake—and feeling guilt about who you are (working, staying at home, overweight, underweight, overeducated, uneducated, emotional, bookish, street-smart, or whatever) does a disservice to yourself and the creator who made you. There are hundreds of ways to lose yourself, but the easiest of them all is refusing to acknowledge who you truly are in the first place. You—the real you—is not an accident.”
Girl, Wash Your Face

I’ve got some things to say about this..
I’ve always been the emotional one-the one that’s ” too much” and I feel everything very deeply. I cry easily and just as easily, I can blow up… Through the years I’ve learned to ” mute” my emotions, just like the writer said… When my aunt was about to have surgery, my eyes filled with tears and my voice cracked and her daughter sent me a look that I knew full well.
It meant I was being ” too much” again.

There’s a reason that I am this way… I was created to be… I’m full-on, hands-in, all there, no matter what

When I started my own business back in 2013,I could FEEL the doubters.. they didn’t outright say anything to me, but I could tell they were just waiting to be able to say, ” I knew this wouldn’t work” probably because of my hearing issues but more so because they just didn’t believe in what I do, or in me.

That’s okay.. because I was created to do this.. I know deep down in my soul that when I’m touching a body, it’s what I was made to do.. same with writing… It comes natural like breathing..
I don’t think twice and it don’t struggle to find words . They just tumble out, effortlessly, sometime with grace, other times, without an ounce of it.

“Feeling guilt about who you are does a disservice to yourself and the Creator who made you.”

Whoa… Here is another truth… Saturday I had some photos snapped of me and after looking at them, I immediately found flaws..
My hair is was a mess, my eye brows needed shaping, and my clothes didn’t look cute . . but mostly, I saw that I had gained weight and I didn’t like that. I felt guilty and ashamed for a hot minute and then I realized that I better wash my face and take another look at myself.

It’s true..I have gained weight… because I haven’t been able to do the cardio and workouts I really love to do…I haven’t been able to drive myself to the gym or go dancing but… damn, I’m walking on my own power now… and I’m able to carry my things here and there, make my own meals and go up and down the stairs at my studio.
I’m not in the best shape of my life, but I’m in a whole lot better shape that I was even just 3 weeks ago.
And you know what?
My husband wrapped his arms around me and said, “You’re still YOU!” and my little Riven said to me, “You’re still my Jamma, you’re just slower now”

Slower, now .. maybe that’s what God is creating now in me… slowing me down, making me think, making me grateful, teaching me to be mindful and graceful-to myself and to others

After all, He does know I needed to slow down and be still some… and then pull on my boots and dance again!

I’m not gonna let Him down, and I’m not gonna let myself down. It’s that simple.

musicandmassage #deaftherapist #loveyourbody #writingmyheartout #myownwords #wordsofwisdom

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