Way Too Long

It’s been way too long

Since she’s had the chance

To let her words flow

To give her soul the breathing room it craves

It’s been way too long

Since she’s laid between the sheets, warm and safe

And felt the touch her body craves

It’s been way too long

Since she’s sat outside

Nestled by the trees

Savoring the peace that her mind craves

It’s been way too long

She’s held back and held on

For all kinds of good reasons

And now she’s feeling it like it’s way past time to let go

It’s time to write

To find a way

It’s time to receive

To accept and give

It’s time to find

A place with trees

To hide underneath

It’s been way too long

For her

Way too long

Way too long

Way too long

👣💗Jeanna’ Mead

645 a.m 2-22-19

I’m a writer, a bodyworker, a naturalist…and I’m admitting that I neglect my own body,mind and soul.

I have craved time alone..craved time to write..craved time to get massages and bodywork..but I haven’t made the time.

I’ve been busy making a living instead of living a life.

Then this week I worked on a lady after her stroke and I saw- not who she is now- but who she was…

Looking at her brown eyes with perfectly made brows and shadow, I saw the fierce spirit she still had and we talked and laughed about life.

I also received the news that another woman I’ve known for over 25 years, has Alzheimer’s and my heart sank as I remembered how she had felt trapped by the expectations of her position and never got to fully live the life she craved. I find it so ironic that she is trapped again by a mind that’s disappearing.

My son shared a excerpt of a book he’s reading in which the writer says, “People are living so focused on what happens after they die- getting to heaven unscathed- that they don’t fully live while here.”

Afraid of making mistakes, instead of making memories.

I had dinner with a long time client again….it’s taken us ten years to cross the ragged edge and become more than just client-therapist. We are friends now and the ease and trust is wonderful.

I can’t help but think of the time we lost because we didn’t want to complicate matters for others.

Maybe living an unscathed life is good for some people, maybe the ragged edge is too dangerous for others, but I swear ….I don’t want to look back at my life with regrets because I tiptoe instead of dancing and leaping and flying.

I don’t want anyone to say “oh,she always felt trapped in so many ways.”

That’s not the legacy I want to have….it’s been way too long since I’ve practiced what I preach…and that’s long enough.

As my daddy used to say, “As long as you know who you are, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you are.”

Well, he was talking about love, and I’m talking about life and those are just about the same thing.

I really must live and love with all I have-intentionally, fiercely, passionately, just the way I expect others to.

It’s been way too long and it won’t ever be long enough.

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