Yesterday,my client was running just a few minutes late which gave me time to walk outside and look at the flowerbeds and the empty pots. I stood there in the front yard, and adjusted the single pot of pansies, and picked up the picture that had the saying, “Life is a journey..enjoy it.” engraved on it then I walked to the back patio and gazed at the yard and the bare trees and felt the familiar tinge in my heart- the call of nature, the urge to plant and be filled with the peace that comes to me every time I am doing what I love.
Since I had found out that I would need to find another place for my business, Rockwall Body and Soul Massage, soon, I had made a conscious decision to step away from my beloved patio and not to purchase the patio sectional that I had wanted or plant new flowers. “It’s not going to be yours much longer,” I reminded myself, “Let it go, let it all go.”
When my client arrived, we chatted just a few minutes and then I started his session. moving my hards, gazing out the window, letting my mind focus on what I love to do and as I was working on him, I felt as if God was speaking to me, a whisper of assurance,
“Plant flowers, Jeanna’, plant flowers here.” and then again, “Go ahead, buy that patio furniture you want. Have faith. Believe that there will be a place for you. ”
Believe. Faith. Plant. Go Ahead.
Tears sprung in my eyes. This is what I needed to hear, to feel– that deep, down assurance, that powerful boost of courage and conviction that didn’t always fit logic but that had always been my guide- God speaking to me.. and my intution kicking in.
I decided right then and there that I would go to Lowe’s after my last session and buy a few flowers and check out the sectionals. During my gap between clients, I jumped in my car and drive over to Greg’s office to share what I had experienced with him and he just smiled at me and told me to go ahead and do what I felt I was told to do.
My next stop was to Tuesday Morning where I went in with the intention to get a birthday gift, gift boxes and tissue paper but, like always, I rambled over to the garden section and then to the wall decor and there was another sign, waiting for me .
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” Simple black letters on a glass pane spoke further truth to my soul. I held those words in my hands for just a few seconds but they made their mark on my heart.
I found some small garden stones inscribed with e words that I was searching for – a blue one with “love” and two white ones, one with “faith” and one with “believe” and I felt as if this was all coming together in ways that I had not expected.
Saturday morning of March 3, I planted lantana and placed the stone with “BELIEVE” in the middle of the blooms and then I placed “FAITH” in a pot filled with red dianthus and I laid the stone of “LOVE” right by the front door where everyone that walks up will see it and maybe, just maybe they will feel it.
This is one of those times that I just lmow that I am doing the right thing and another thought keeps running through my head, “It is mine, until it is not.”
It is mine… until it is not. It is until it is not.
Let this sink in for a moment. Ponder these words. “It is mine, until it is not.”
This house where I operate my massage studio is still mine, until it is not, and I am going to leave it better than I found it, but most importantly, until the day comes that I no longer have a key, I will fill the place with my presence, with love, with faith, with attention to detail and yes, with red, yellow, pink and purple flowers. I will choose to decorate, to create and to make memories. It is still mine, after all and it is a reflection of who I am and what I want to be known for.but
Maybe this is something that we all need to give some real consideration to. what we have is only ours until it is not…and during that time- no matter how brief or how long- we need to make the most of it. We aren’t guaranteed anything but yet we have enough faith to develop friendships, we have enough courage to start a business, enough love to pursue somone and we believe enough to plant flowers and create gardens.
All these words, all these thoughts, all these choices and one thing I know for sure is that whatever happens, wherever I go, whatever I do, it is my chance, my choice,and only mine until it is not and I want to be known for love, for faith, for believing and for having the courage to listen to the whisper of God and go ahead, to chase my dreams and follow my intuition and to love who I am with and where I am, as long as I can.
It is mine,after all, until it is not.
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Jeanna' Soul 